last birthday

HI carryingon

oh I feel for you. Sending you a huge hug. It's hard and its cruel.

My husband has a stage 4 brain tumour and was given 12-15 months in Sept 2020 a few days before his 51st birthday. He was really unwell that year and we thought it would be the last...then the following year as we reached the 12 month mark we thought it would be his last and went through all the emotions again. He's still with us so we are facing this "last" for a third time. Yes on the one hand its great that he's still here to celebrate but on the other, its tearing the kids and I apart. We've all had "last" birthdays and "last" Christmases too.

I hope you have a lovely day with your husband when it comes. Make it special, Make happy memories (if you can).

Love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Hi, I am feeling a similar thing and just feel sad and in disbelief. My husband is 54, I am 45. It will be our 20th wedding anniversary at the end of Sept and I feel this might be our last. He has got quite ill recently and until now apart from being skinny, it always felt a long way off. Now the reality is setting in and I don't know what I should do or think.... Sending you best wishes

Lasts are hard. We are moving towards a last holiday with our adult kids and are approaching our last Christmas. We may already have had his last birthday. 

It's hard enough with adult kids but cannot imagine how it is with younger ones.

My heart goes out to you xxx

Hi I am new to the group but your post really stood out. My mum is terminal with no treatment options and I have just bought what may be her last birthday card. The emotional rollercoaster feels overwhelming at times. She will be 75 and it breaks my heart to imagine it is the last card I will be buy. I also get really mad with myself as I think I should not dwell on time and just focus on the now but find it really hard. I hope you and your husband managed to enjoy his birthday. 

My wife has been ill for over a year after being told by the GP she had arthritis and wear and tare, turns out she had an aggressive Breast cancer which has spread through her body. We found this out with in the Last 3 weeks and ive been told she only has weeks or short months to live. She is at home in a nhs bed as thats where she want to be not in a hospice, I am heart broken its so hard to watch someone you love suffer so much pain and sickness and know you dont want them to leave you but they dont have a choice she cant eat, and all shes worryed about is me being ok shes excepted whats happened and is very calm.

Hi, I totally understand. My husband is at home after a terminal diagnosis of AML, given till Christmas if we're lucky! He worries about me and gets upset if I cry but wht can I do. I am heartbroken watching him get thinner and in more pain. I will do whatever I can to help him but in many ways I feel helpless. I'm not sleeping well, worrying about finances as I'm only getting SSP, people visit and it's nice but then they go home and carry on as normal. It's very lonely this journey so reach out to as many friends and family and organisations as you can to help you get through this too.

It's awful ,my oh has uncurable cancer unfortunately treatment not working well we haven't been given a time frame,it's a lonely journey he's ignoring his illness thinking he's got many years ahead I wish it was ,the uncertainty of the future is hard and when I mention about sorting things  out he gets angry and get told I'm thinking about finances etc instead of him ,totally not the case I'm doing everything atm, plus working full time it's hard seeing a loved one in pain is so hard and feel helpless 

Hi Tina 22,  it is so tough but you do have to be practical too. Thinking of finances doesn't mean you aren't thinking of him too but you are ensuring its one less worry for you both.

My husband did all that side of things.. banking, paments, bills etc so I need to learn how to do it now he can't so I know what's what.

Unfortunately we get the brunt of their pain, anxiety and frustration too. You are doing all you can and are amazing for keeping it all together..don't forget that! 

I really sympathise with you Tina and LeeBee. Things have turned a corner for my husband now and he is starting palliative care. It’s all got very real and it is hard especially when at home together. I’m fortunate that he is practicall so we have been sorting a lot of admin, finances etc out. But he can be difficult at times and I guess takes it out on me because I’m the one there. It is horrible seeing him in pain and fading away. Tomorrow we are going to the funeral place to look round… something I never expected at this point of our lives 

Hi WW2 girl, 

It is the most awful, painful and emotional journey.

My husband is practical and has told me things I'll need to sort out. It must be worse knowing that you are dying and leaving your life, plans and loved ones behind. He seems more worried about me than himself but in the last few days his pain has increased dramatically. He has virtually stopped eating and drinking and I feel like I'm constantly trying to get him to eat or drink.

I don't want to spend my final weeks with him having a go at him but obviously want to keep him as long as possible. Sounds like your husband is trying to get as much sorted as he can so it's easier for you when he passes. He may feel that it helps him doing this for you even though its so difficult

Sending hugs x