I live in Spain where there are no support groups for carers or families. Anyway as I am British I feel more closely identified here. My husband had bowel cancer and then got septicaemia. During lockdown he was in hospital for 15 days and I was only allowed in once when he was at rock bottom. It was easier not to see him which makes me feel so ashamed. When he came out the chemotherapy started amd his mood was up and down, mostly angry and scared and he shouted at me or the dogs. The last scan showed peritoneal cancer and two small lung nodules. More chemotherapy followed. I love him dearly and hate to think this won’t work but I am exhausted and his comments can be cruel. Now we are waiting for the next operation and the pre operation visit is on 5 May. How do you cope when everyone calls him but no one thinks of his partner? I know I sound really selfish and horrible but it is my cancer too and I wish he could understand that.
Bless you. Is he receiving (or been offered) any counselling?
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Yes I try to be positive and I’m told off for that even. Oh well 
you take care , you’re doing the best you can remember that xx
