Hi all, I haven't posted for a while, my husband took early retirement 30th June last year, the same day he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, it was bile duct cancer spread to his liver, gall bladder, pancreas and small bowel, he tried chemo to slow the cancer down to give him quality time, sadly he had no quality time, it made him very ill, chemo wasn't working so he had to stop. Gradually the cancer spread further, he lost the ability to think straight, he forgot how to so the simplest of things like turning the television on, typing a text, I answered repetitive questions daily as he couldn't remember things, he had delirium and confusion which made him say things which made no sense, he deteriorated fast, I bed bathed him, cleaned his teeth, shaved him, fed him, gave him drinks through a straw, cleaned him when he could no longer go to the toilet, struggled with him for hours at a time as he didn't understand why he had a urinary catheter, didn't even understand what it was and would constantly be trying to pull it out. I was exhausted but carried on caring for him, he was my world, I adored him. He became weaker and weaker, the last couple of days he was unconscious most of the time but on the 15th January this year he opened his eyes held out his hand and said " hold my hand, I love you" I told him I loved him too, he closed his eyes and that was the last thing he said to me, he passed peacefully as he slept the very next day. He was 62 years old. I miss him so much, I talk to his photo every day.
