Hello all .
i hope it’s ok for me write in this forum ,I’m feeling lonely and scared and this was the only place I could find and hope for some understanding .my partner is 76 ,has come thru bladder cancer ,last check may this year and all clear .such a relief as he’s not been particularly well during lockdown .cut a long story short ,I had to dial 999 to get him to hospital ,where they did tests and scans and the next day they told us that it was secondary brain cancer ,more than 10 tumours but unable to find primary cancer. It was such a shock ,blew me sideways and I’ve been in denial since they diagnosed .the way it stands now he’s to go back for mri but they have already said no operations just maybe wbrt,depending on what the mri shows .of course I’ve read the internet information,and it’s not good ,and it’s all about palliative care from now on. I’m the most scared I’ve ever been in my whole life , just as well he doesn’t know or at least I don’t think he does ,just that he’s got a cancer of the brain but thinks he will get over it just like the bladder type .I’m not sleeping and have a million questions,but making him comfortable at home is where we are at .sorry that’s long winded but it’s real now I’ve put it in b&w x
Hi
A warm welcome to our community - we definitely get where you are coming from, that odd world where we may feel disconnected from the rest of the world.
It is worth being clear on the term palliative treatment - it simply means addressing the symptoms rather than trying to cure so it may well not be the beginning of the end - but then when we first hear "cancer" many people do think that is the end of the story.
Not sleeping is a great way of making ourselves sick though, if we look at Supporting a family member with cancer we can see how common these feelings are. Many carers say the patient is taking it in their stride but I am a mess - we have all been there.
While the internet can be a useful source of information do try to stick to more reputable sites like Macmillan or cancer support uk because often people vent and some of the web searches seem to like to highlight horror stories - perhaps good news does not sell as well.
<<hugs>>
Steve
