Denial ? First time on here .....

FormerMember over 3 years ago

4 replies
37 subscribers
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My mother in law has come to live with us for her end of life care following a very recent diagnosis of ovarian cancer spread to liver, she had two mini chemo sessions followed by a Dr decision not to continue treating as it was 'doing more harm than good' she was in hospital for 3 weeks.

Shes been with us 3 weeks, they said at the hospital she has weeks to live they also made a hospice referral. We are devastated.

Since being with us, she has no pain, she has started eating and drinking again, her ascities has gone from 5-14 litres per week to 1, her leg swelling has gone down significantly, her blood sugars have also stabilised.

She is still in bed 24 7 and sleeps alot, but she has interests in the world and is completely with it.

Does anyone have experience of love ones seeming better rather than worse in the face of strong diagnosis?

Does it just seem like denial that she seems to be getting better...

Thank you, sorry if I sound dillusional x

Tony73 over 3 years ago

I was a carer for my mum and she was similar. I thought she would die soon with NHL cancer. She lived another 10 Years to 97 Years dying or natural causes. Of course all cases are different but prognosis can differ. I im the one with bowel cancer now, also, terminal and I dont know how long ive got. But I'm very active and sleep very little. Im not in denial. I'm just making the most of time.

Why do you think she is in denial?. Did you have a preconceived idea of how you feel a cancer patient should behave ?

Take care

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Tony73

Hello, thank you for this its heartening to hear.

I wonder if its me in denial (not her) as I keep thinking she seems so well, but maybe she is actually improving. I hope so.

Thanks

Tony73 over 3 years ago in reply to FormerMember

From experience, i find I have good and bad days. Im on no treatment. Today i feel good but tomorrow maybe different.

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Hi, I honestly do not want to 'pee on your parade' but I guess you posted because you are not sure. I struggle most days to work out what goes on with my mum and I used to move from she has 1 month to she has years. What settled me down was keeping a record of some key points. For me it was Pain, Energy, Appetite, Breathing\cough. I rated each one 1-7 in terms of on average how many good days for each. I started weekly and moved to monthly (thinks looked much better 5 months ago) and now do it every 2 weeks. Thinking about it over a bigger period and you measures might make it easier to understand how things are progressing. I wish you both well x

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