Hi
My husband was diagnosed with bile duct cancer a few years ago and it has been such a stressful time for us, he had major surgery and Chemotherapy, every time it came around for his scan we would both get worked up, in March last year we had the dreaded news that it had returned, then lockdown happened and I was threatened with redundancy, I lost my job in April and my husband is,waiting for his next treatment. For the last 6 month's I have felt awful my feelings are all over the place and this is making me feel guilty as I want to provide the best care for my husband. I just feel so tired and lonely because I have know one I can talk to, I worry for the future and feel helpless. I've recently been offered a new job which should be great news but I'm struggling dealing with concentrating and training, and I'm coming home stressed. I feel like I should be at home with my husband because he needs my support, but I feel like I should be at work too, sometimes it all gets too much and I just sit and cry. I lie awake most nights worrying, thinking, trying to find a way out for us. Then the day starts again and it feels heavier than the day before.
HI Forevermore
oh I feel for you. This journey is a tough one. I get it.
My husband got a terminal diagnosis last Sept ( GBM4 brain tumour) and the emotional journey has been a rollercoaster and at times quite overwhelming.
He can no longer work. I work from home as a team manager so I'm going to reply to you from two angles here, if that's ok.
As the wife/partner/carer - the crying and anxiety and all the other emotions are perfectly normal. Days can feel like you're wearing a lead coat and everything just feels "heavy" but then some days feel lighter. Showing the emotions is a sign of resilience and strength. As Wcd says though it might be worth talking to your GP if you feel its getting too much.
As the manager/boss - have you told your employer about the whole situation? You don't say what kind of job you do but, after the training period, is there scope to work from home some of the time? I'd advise being open and honest with your boss as far as you can and explain things and explain how you feel. Hopefully they will be supportive of you.
Stay strong. Hang in there
Big hugs
Wee Me xx
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