We were told 2 weeks ago that there is nothing more they can do and that this awful disease will take the life of my husband. The pain and distress are beyond words. We are in our mid-40s and had so many plans for our lives to come. After a month in hospital, he is now back home, but doesn’t want to die. He is scared and upset. This is a man who just doesn’t cry and there have been tears, which makes me cry. I have no idea how I can help him to find his smile or feel better. I can’t possibly understand how he must feel. He can’t do any sort of bucket list as he has two nephrostomies in his back, two stomas on the front and is healing from major surgery which has left a long wound down his stomach. They think he has months, but we are waiting on a further CT and PET scan which will hopefully give us more of an idea. Wish I knew how to help him process this and enjoy what time we have left…
Hi Bim07
Sorry to hear about your husband and hope the scans give you a bit more certainty. It does sound like your poor husband is certainly having to cope with a lot - I know when Janice came out of hospital with a big wound on her stomach we had to have the district nurse come every other day to change the dressing and then the additional pressure around here of having to arrange a bio-hazard collection.
Often people find they need to concentrate on a day to day or even hour to hour.
<<hugs>>
Steve
0
Hi Bim07
as you know we got a terminal diagnosis from the outset and the timeframe has been tweaked a couple of times.
It's heart breaking to see the husband who was once so strong showing emotion. I get it.... we're there too.
I think from watching my other half, its something they largely need to process on their own so my only advice would be to be led by him. If he wants to talk, talk. If he doesn't then don't force it. Tears are healthy. They mean you're not bottling things ups and they're cathartic tears in way.
Hang in there. Stay strong. Big hugs to you both
Wee Me xx
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