Wife had a mastectomy aged 36 had chemo 5 years of tamoxifen all clear then back in august aged 58 got diagnosed with secondary cancer spread to lungs and bones on treatment but I cant show her but Its killing me see in her this way shes so brave so cant show her my pain I'm in think all things crying when I'm alone dont know how to deal with it I now I'm going to lose my her
Hi Tony w21
Welcome to our carers zone - though so sorry to hear about your wife.
I have never been exactly in your position as my wife's cancer is different (Leiomyosarcoma) and was incurable from the start. However her chemo managed to render the cancer stable - and she has been like that for about 6 years now.
I know what you mean about crying - I used to do mine in the shower. Then I found a living with less stress course. The first element that helped me was about living in the here and now - rather than asking how will I cope when she is gone. Sometimes we refer to pre-grief and it can really rob today of the joy and things were almost never are bad as I had imagined. The second element was around controlled breathing exercises that were great for coping with unexpected news but also can help me relax.
I am sure your wife will be aware of how you are feeling - unless you are much much better at hiding it that I am.
A couple of things that might help Looking after someone with cancer and Talking about cancer
<<hugs>>
Steve
