Hi,
My husband cancer is very aggressive, he’s changed from working 4 weeks ago to barely being able to move from pain and his leg giving way.
He’s stage 4 and was told he’d have a matter of weeks but if he went down the route of chemo and immunotherapy he will hopefully have longer.
He’s not coping well at all with side effects of medication such as sickness and tiredness, also lack of appetite, so I’m very worried that he’ll struggle to hack anything more than a few weeks really.
Anything to expect, any tips?
Also how are people coping with the change in relationship? So we’ve gone from working together and doing other projects such as renovating property so sitting in a house. All plans are gone for him so it seems cruel to talk about anything else. But I’m struggling with the loss of personality In him. He wants separate beds because he’s so uncomfortable.. I guess I’m struggling with the change in him and us.
Hello Kwaps
Welcome to the carers only forum, I am so sorry to read that the change in your husband has been so quick, things happening so fast give very little time for conversation or understanding, it seems very cruel.
I notice that you have already posted on some of the other forums and I truly hope you are receiving some support there, as you will continue to do from this forum.
My Husband is also a Stage 4, incurable cancer patient, who has been receiving chemo since May 2020, he has as times been, and looked extremely ill, but in recent months he seems to have improved greatly and has started back at work (from home) 2 days a week.
I have struggled with the unknown, preparing myself for the end, and then changing my mindset as we seem to have (for now) a new beginning. We talk, constantly, no matter how difficult, because even though this is his diagnosis, my life is also affected. Have you asked whether the request for separate beds is just because he is uncomfortable? is he thinking of you? does he feel that he is disturbing you, waking you?
If he is not sleeping, eating and if he is being sick then he will feel extremely run down, this will all have a negative effect on his mood and ability to communicate positively, it may be worth trying smoothies, with high energy, slow release foods, these are easy to consume and may help? it is something that has worked for my husband at least.
I really hope that you and your husband can find the time to talk together, as difficult as this truly can be, it may help to stop some of the changes.. this may be wishful thinking on my part but I really hope it can be so.
Thinking of you both during this difficult time
Lowe'
