Newly diagnosed mum

I'm so sorry to hear a o

Sorry I pressed enter way to soon! 

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, I'm a similar age and my mum has also been diagnosed but is in a slightly different situation to yours as hers is much more advanced. 

The doctor's will be apprehensive to give a timescale as often it depends on the type of cancer, where it is, and the response of treatments. 

I know it's so, so hard. It's emotionally draining and something you never think will happen to you.

If you ever want to chat, please message me. I totally understand what you're going through. 

Lots of love

Thanks kate2021 so great to hear

from someone who has the same feelings. They’re talking now about a possibility of cancer of unknown primary. I did a very stupid thing of googling that and have found numbers like 6-12months survival?! I just can’t believe that could be true. She’s so well at the moment. 

She has an endoscopy today and breast assessment on Friday just in case and then just want to get treatment started to feel like we’re doing some thing to actively fight it. 

I’m so sorry you’re also going through something with your mum. How have you managed to cope? 

thanks again for reaching out x

I know it’s really, really hard but if you can, try not to google because you will end up just driving yourself absolutely crazy and get really upset, and I know if your mum is anything like mine, that’s so far away from what she would want. It really sounds like the hospital are doing all they can and quickly for your mum, and she’s in the best possible care that she can be in.

Some days are better than others than coping. I’ve just been trying to get lots of sleep, eat when I can, and then if there are days that I feel like not doing very much, then I don’t. I’ve been trying to not put pressure on myself to feel a certain way. The one thing I’ve struggled with quite a lot is I feel angry quite a lot of the time because the few friends I have told, have never experienced the anxiety that comes with having such a huge diagnosis to one of your closest family members. For me, I feel like my entire world has stopped, but everyone continues to carry on as normal. I think this is the biggest thing right now. My advice is just take it hour by hour, your emotions will probably change so many times during a day, and this is okay.

It will make your mum happy if she knows you are able to cope and if you take care of yourself.  Help her to find the best from each day and find small ways to give her little joys, so that whatever time she has left has some happy memories. If things get worse, reach out to your GP to get support and there is lots of support here

Hi Kate, 

Just wondered how you have been getting on? 

Things with mum are going downhill, they diagnosed her with a rare primary appendix cancer with spreading throughout the abdomen. She is currently in hospital having had a stent and a nephrostomy and a drain for the ascities. The plan was to start chemo on Friday/Monday but they have done another scan this morning and waiting to see if that is still going to happen.

I'm really struggling and desperate to speak to someone who understands.

Hello lovely. 

first of all, will just start by saying I'm really, really sorry about your mum and what has been going on. words cant express how much sympathy i have for you, because it genuinely is heart-breaking to hear. 

Things were not good for my mum unfortunately. She was taken into hospital, discharged, then readmitted at which point we were told it was so advanced that there was nothing that could be done. No chemo or anything. She was admitted into a hospice, and passed away 5 days later. Although i am absolutely heartbroken beyond words, I am relieved for her. She honestly had said to me that she didn't want to continue as she was, and I understand but it doesn't make it any easier for me right now. She was so brave, and I am unbelievably proud of her. 

I am so so so so sorry for what you're going through. Have you managed to see your mum, or are restrictions not allowing that? Keeping my fingers crossed, and you very much in my thoughts for your mums scan today, i hope the results come back so she can start her chemo. How is your mum within herself? 

Let me know how you get on, will be here to message whenever you need. But sending you a huge amount of support and love at the moment. I genuinely understand how tough it really is XXXXX

Kate2021 , so sorry to hear about your Mum , she sounds like a very amazing lady .

Daughter'21 , it's an awful time after diagnosis and a steep learning curve of terminology and treatments and what each blood test means and don't get me started on waiting for scan results . My husband was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 kidney cancer in September '19 it was a massive inoperable tumour that had spread to his pleura and both lungs ,we were told they would give him treatment to "give him as long as possible " .19 months later and on immunotherapy for 18 months of that he's still doing well , it has advanced to lymph nodes now but generally he's well .  It's difficult to come to terms with especially as you probably can't attend appointments due to covid and ask the questions you want to .