After doctors suspected lesions (MRI) on her spine and hip pain were related to bone mets from previous lung cancer, my mum has been recently diagnosed with myeloma. Still awaiting the plan and appt from haemotology. She has terrible pain and difficulty walking. Her meds were changed over a week ago but then she had horrific diarrhoea causing acciddnts which mortified her as she is so slow due to pain and so we have been helping out lots. Diarrhoea now settled but pain persists however mobility is okish- able to get to stair lift and bedrooom etc. She has just bcome incredibly angry and very touchy, accusing me of being nasty when Im absolutely not and saying people are only helping begrudgingly. This has really really upset me. I work full time and Im absolutely exhausted and feel so sad. I guess what Im thinking is that this is her natural adjustment to whats going on and shes bound to be angry, I just need to roll with it don’t I? I just want the magic answer of how long this period of adjustment will last- and I guess there will be no answer. I’m hopeful that there will be some treatment be it radiotherapy or chemo that will help the pain , possibly even get her into remission if we are lucky
Hi Beebobs
So sorry to read your post regarding your Mum's recent diagnosis of myeloma, but pleased that you were able to share your thoughts here with us.
You must all be reeling with shock at this news, and I imagine, as you say that Mum is angry and adjusting, and I imagine, so are you. This is only my opinion, but in regards to just rolling with it, I would think that it depends on whether the just rolling with it damages the relationship you have with your Mum. For me, I have always said what I think has to be said, I would always prefer to sit down and discuss how someone is feeling and then share how things are for me, how I am feeling, about the whole situation.
You both have an anxious wait ahead of you, I imagine this is contributing to how you are both feeling, are you able to talk about it with her?
I truly would love to have magic answers of positivity, for all of us, but for now, I would say... if you can cope with the adjustment period and not get too upset then, so be it, but if you are feeling so sad, and becoming more upset, please talk to her.... be an ear for her and let her be an ear for you.. As a Mum myself I would hate to feel that I was upsetting my Daughter.... just sometimes, we don't see past our own sadness
Thinking of you both
Lowe'
