My Husband is bearing the end

Hi 

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband has aggressive prostate cancer that has spread and so his treatment is now palliative but for us it’s early days. I’m trying not to think too much about what’s coming as my husband has said that he wants to be at home when the end comes- he was actually born in the house that we live in - and I’m so scared of not being able to cope and care for him properly. 
It sounds like you’ve already been doing this for a long time and you shouldn’t feel any shame in allowing   your husband to go into the hospice. They are wonderful places that can care for all of you. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to look after me too, and I just shrug it off, but I know that deep down it’s true. You do need to look after you and if that means your husband going into the hospice that’s ok - and you would be respecting his wishes. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to struggle. Don’t feel guilty- take all the help that you can get and that way you get to spend the time you have left knowing that your husband is well looked after (not that you’re not looking after him well but it’s too hard for one person on their own )  
Thinking if you and sending you a hug (as I know that’s what I need most right now) 

Jillybean 

Oh Lezelym 

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband has a glioblastoma and while his care is minimal just now he's not accepting any further treatment so it is just a matter of time.

JIllybean74 is right. You need to take care of yourself too and it sounds like you need a rest. Could your local hospice perhaps offer some respite care for a few days to support you and your family? I know that's a service my local hospice offers to support both the patient and their families.

Hang in there.

Love n hugs 

Wee Me  xx

Sorry to hear you're going through this.

My stepfather's wishes were to be at home and like your husband, he only wanted to go to the hospice if it got too much for us at home. We saw it through to the end at home and I have to say, I do wonder if we made the right choice.  We constantly felt like we were failing him in his care and now after he passed (30.01.21) we're all exhausted on top of grieving.

Caring for them at home is hard. We had a night sitter in for one night only but found we couldn't sleep as we felt guilty and that we should be with him.

One particular night we had to call out the nurses twice and felt bad for doing so, the nurses reassured us that that is what they were there for but the responsibility of deciding what was 'normal' or what warranted a call out was huge.

Whatever you decide, please don't feel guilty. It is ridiculously difficult. Sending you love & strength.