Only just joined this group (- please be gentle lol). I get respite care 3 times a week for mum. Today the carer refused to cook mum a bacon butty just because mum asked her twice if she’d washed her hands, demanding that I do it instead. I said no, as it’d been reasonable (by mum) to ask if she’d washed her hands, and the call is to provide me with respite, not for me to do the carer’s job for her.
Can anyone help me out please - I have adhd & autism, and am unsure how to handle paid carers, especially in difficult situations like today’s. I’m not really sure what to say & how to handle difficult situations like this, when the carer’s there and causing difficulties. I have contacted her manager about this - but I need to know how I’m meant to handle awkward situations like this one please?
Thanks.
Hi and welcome to the community - though sorry to hear about your mum and the problems you have been having.
What I wonder is had the carer washed her hands and that perhaps they felt that your mothers question felt a bit like they were questioning their professionalism - perhaps the last call was really difficult. Still it would have been simple to say yes but that did not happen.
From what you say it seems like your mum then turned to you and perhaps that made the carer feel even more undermined. While you challenged your mother on this the result really did not appear to please anyone.
Do you have any contact with any autism support service, as my son also has autism I am aware that the national autistic society also has an online community where people might have more experience in handling awkward situations like this that might be helpful to you. https://community.autism.org.uk/
<<hugs>>
Steve
