Help!

Hi Daisy

I’m so sorry for both you and your husband, it is so hard to deal with all the overwhelming emotions.I’m shortly going out  to see my GP but didn’t want you to think no one was here for you. I’m sure someone else will be along soon to give you help and support but in the meantime, here’s a big hug from me....Budge x

Thank you for your kind response Budge and your big hug...Much appreciated! Daisy

HI Daisy 1212

Like budge13, I didn't want you to feel alone but I'm no expert. I don't know if there are any magic answers to  tell us how to make ourselves feel stronger and less stressed. It might help to contact your gp for some guidance on what support is available to you locally. 

I only joined this group recently but already have had some lovely messages from others in the same heartbroken situation.

Hang in there. Stay strong and remember to try to take some time in the day for yourself. You need time for you to process everything that is going on. Even if you only go for a short walk for a few minutes that will help to clear your mind a little.

big hugs

Wee Me  x

Hi Daisy, 

I'm sorry you are here needing this site but it's a good start if you're looking for some support. It has definitely helped me to not feel quite so alone in this awful situation we find ourselves. My husband has an incurable brain tumour but hs is having treatment to 'hold it off' for as long as possible.  I hope that your husband can get some benefits from his treatment and it helps with his pain. That must be hard for you both to cope with.  I think its amazing how strong we can be when we're focusing on what our husbands need but like wee me says some time to yourself to process all that is happening at the minute is important (something I struggle with though) I agree your gp is a good place to start if you feel like its all too much right now. They may be able to point you in the right direction for support and care for you. 

take care x

Thanks very much for your message Wee Me...It does help a lot to know I am not alone and we are all unfortunately going through this horrible path...Life can be so cruel! I have contacted my GP and he advised counselling but there is a 4 month waiting list so no point...Otherwise privately it is too expensive for us at £60 an hour....I have decided to learn to meditate in a better manner to try to calm myself down and also do some tai chi exercises everyday and walk when I can.I hope it will help to clear my head and help me to sleep better as I feel so tired! I don’t know if it will work but we’ll see....Thanks for the hugs, much needed....Daisy x

Hi , I am so sorry to hear about your husband...Unfortunately we are in a similar situation....The word incurable is so dreadful to hear and I think it makes the situation 100 times harder ....It is horrible but somehow we must find the strength to fight another day and it is sometimes unbearable...I certainly struggle with it but hopefully tomorrow will be better...  Thanks for your message and hope we will cope a little better soon, Take care x

Hi Daisy1212,

My husband (52) was diagnosed with incurable stomach cancer xmas Eve. He has two lots of failed chemo and has deteriorated considerably since then. I am totally devastated but all I can say is I walk in the park with my lovely dog each day to clear my head, have open discussions with friends and family about what is happening and acknowledge how I feel, it seems to help me cope somehow.

We I’ve no idea of timeline and haven’t asked, and all I do is try not to think too far ahead and literally take each day at a time and just concentrate on my husband’s needs, whatever they may be. 
I hope you find a way that works for you, but reach out to everyone on here as I find them all a lifeline xx

Hi @daisy1212 and welcome to our little club though sorry to hear about your husband. My wife's cancer is quite different but was incurable from diagnosis - however our wonderful oncology team have managed to stop it growing and even shrink it a bit. It took a while and some help but finally we got to a position of living with cancer.

GP arranged services are fantastic but as you have found often difficult to access. For people in work often the employer will have something like an employee assistance programme that can gain some counselling often for free. There are also a number of support groups that can provide support that can be very helpful. My initial contact was with Maggies and they have expert support staff there and of course here we can talk to staff on our helpline.

If we look through our guide Looking after someone with cancer we see these emotions are really very usual and sometimes that can be a comfort. The exercise plans you have are a great way to combat stress - my doctor prescribed "eco-therapy" for me to deal with stress.

One thing often commented on here is to try to concentrate on the day-to-day or sometimes even hour-to-hour and appreciate every good thing in our lives - I know I managed to paint myself in to a much worse future than ever really appeared and that did not really help me or Janice.

<<hugs>>

Steve

It is life changing news but you will get through this Daisy1212. You will become strong for your husband, it’s not easy but you will find your inner strength. Take things one moment at a time, we are all here for you x

Hi Steve, Thanks so much for your comforting message and advices, it helps a lot...I have never been on this Forum before and I am overwhelmed by the kindness and all the lovely people who have taken time to try to help me. All the best to you and your wife x