Struggling

Hi @Iron,

So sorry to hear about your dad and the news about the treatment. It can be very hard to hear but many on here know how difficult treatment can be, my wife for instance only barely survived the emergency hysterectomy she had.

Have you talked to the carers about the bed? It might be they can come up with some suggestions that might make life easier for him though if say he was sleeping in a chair that might not be a problem.

I can certainly hear in your words your love; I wonder what telling him a guess - a prognosis - of how much time he has left would be of a benefit. My wife was really clear she never wanted a prognosis and she has amazed her oncologist. On here often we see people outlive a prognosis, sometime it seems like the die to order and it can feel that perhaps they just gave up and occasionally people die early leaving family and friends feeling robbed.

Whenever you need post on here and if you need the helpline is there for you too. The next few weeks are likely to be among the hardest of your entire life but with the right help and support you can make it - because that is what we all have to do.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks Steve Hope your wife is doing better now , Dad and I had  another bad night last Night , I spoke to the Carers yesterday and they said the bed is very good that Dad just has to get used to it but last night and this morning he has admitted he was in pain when he was in bed so I am calling the Doctor out this morning to come and see if he can help , failing that I may have to get the Palliative Care team involved in the night time care.

I do Love my Dad but I can't go without sleep for many more nights I won't be able to function properly or take care of my Dad if I'm tired and not watching what I am doing.

I thought about telling my dad he has 3 Months or 12 weeks but then I wondered what good would that do ?? what if the Doctor got it wrong?? what if Dad lives longer??

I expect the next few weeks are going to be tough but I want to honour Dad's wish for him to die at home Sadly my brothers are useless and no help at all when I messaged one of my Brothers yesterday to see when he was coming to see dad he replied "Not sure , when I get time" I would have thought that knowing what he knows he would make time before it's too late.