Trying to make home life as comfortable as possible

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My hubby Douglas has been diagnosed with terminal cancer of the oesophagus which has spread to liver, lungs, and lymph nodes. He is supposed to start chemo in 2 weeks though we don't have a date yet. However He is feeling so rough already he is having doubts about going ahead with chemo. I want to make his time left as comfortable as possible but with limited finance it is difficult. Our life insurance runs out in Dec and there was an 18 month clause for terminal illness so we can't get an early payout. If he survives after December any funeral plan policy I will take out doesn't cover the first year so if he passes before July next year and after December I have no finances for funeral. We don't need all this worry. He will get PIP and I will get carers allowance. Does anyone know if I can borrow a recliner chair from somewhere? Our suite isn't comfortable anymore. Also does anyone know where we could get a reasonably cheap but comfy sofa bed? He is sleeping downstairs on a mattress since my son had to come back from uni due to covid and refuses to let any of us swap beds with him, plus loo is downstairs. Thank you for your patience on this long first post. .Catherine

  • Hi and a warm welcome to Carers, although I'm sorry to read about your husband. If he hasn't already been referred to the local hospice, ask his GP to refer him as a matter of urgency as they can provide so much help in the home, even supplying a bed. You can get a one off grant from Macmillan so it's worth chatting to his Macmillan nurse or call the helpline on 0808 808 0000. The nurse can help with any form filling. This government page tells you what help they will provide if you can't afford the funeral costs. The helpline is manned by experts who can help with any questions you may have. We're here for you whenever you'd like to chat.

    Love and hugs,

    LoobyLou
    If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

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  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to LoobyLou49

    Also get the occupational therapy in ad they will provide equipment at home. My husband has oesophageal cancer and as he has got quite poorly we have had a lot of help. Could also speak to district nurses they are also very supportive. Good luck but come back to me if want to talk 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    How quickly did your husband become really poorly? We got diagnosis a few weeks ago an it had already spread to several areas. It's been a whirlwind since then compared to all the poor folks who have been waiting because of covid. I can only think it is because it is so advanced my husband has been seen and getting chemo so quickly.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi June, my hubby is struggling with lots of food now. Not just unable to swallow some types but he has gone off so much. Did this happen with your husband and what did you do to help him?

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to LoobyLou49

    Hi I'm so so sorry I didn't reply, I've only just realised you answered as I've been having difficulty getting back in. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    No worries. Unfortunately my husband died in August last year. How is your husband doing?

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I am so sorry June. Douglas is failing. Is going on for a stent on Monday as can't manage even soup and ice cream now. He has lost so much weight in a matter of weeks. We are worried the cancer has spread to his brain as he is overly forgetful and confused. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh I am sorry to hear that. My husband had a couple of stents fitted which helped for a bit. Sorry to hear the cancer has spread. It is a horrible illnesses.  Hope you are doing ok. It’s hard work caring. Have you got some help? 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    My daughter lives at home just now so when she not at work she helps. he is still able to take care of himself and most days if feeling ok takes our dog out in afternoons.  I am tired all then time as it is mentally tiring. I think by how he is acting and speaking he knows he hasn't much longer left.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh dear I am sorry to hear that. Yes it is mentally tiring and you can’t prepare because you do not know how things will work out. I have just got a puppy to keep me company. Glad you have your daughter. It’s good to have family around. One thing I would say is make sure you have talked about things. My husband did not want to talk snd I am sorry about that x