Coping

Hi,I’m so sorry you are having such a difficult time.I feel for you,caring can be the loneliest job but to do it in a panademic just adds to the stress.I will be back to caring for my mother (she doesn’t have cancer) in a few days time.I am still recovering from major surgery for bladder cancer.I’m not sure how I will cope.I had a meltdown dealing with the social worker.I really don’t think people realise just how stressful and draining caring can be.Please free to send me a private message if you want to offload.Love Jane xx

I sympathise with you, we are all struggling along in our own way and I think it is ok to have a meltdown now and then if only to get things out into the open ,,, 

I had a meltdown myself yesterday ... my husband had decided that he had had enough and wasn’t going to take any more medicines for his ongoing liver condition, I know that if he stopped these his liver would fail before ever his cancer got him ....  I have been tiptoeing around his condition for so long that my reaction took him by surprise, I had a complete go at him (first time since he was diagnosed with terminal cancer) and, to cut a long story short, told him he was being utterly selfish and wanting to put me through an unimaginable experience ... as if it wasn’t bad enough already ...  needless to say it shook him up considerably and he is thankfully back on course!

Glad I had a go at him, it might seem that I was making it all about me but the bottom line is that we carers are also going  through it.  You are so right it IS difficult and it IS lonely.  I hope things get better for you.

Sometimes I think I need to do the same and just say it how it is, but then I don't have the strength to do that. There has been some improvement today and  with tweeking his meds his liver is less painful. H just can't get his head around why we need to try different meds to find a happy balance and I'm worn out trying to explain it! I've also contacted family and asked for help but they just don't get it and say shout when you need us. A I need is for them to call and say they will keep an eye out for their dad and for me to go out for an hour or so, even for a walk. We're lucky and have a nice garden where they can sit. X