My wife is stage 4 and has had her first dose of chemo. We were aware of side affects and expected them, sadly when they hit I struggled to cope with the way she was feeling, she lost her appetite and I would moan at her for not eating, in my eyes she needed food for energy to fight the cancer. Her legs became swollen making her mobility hard and again I would get short with her telling her she needed to exercise. When she goes to bed, I sit alone pondering the days happenings and have a mini break down as I feel I am not really helping her through this, I care to much and want her to be as strong as possible for the fight ahead, but feel I am becoming a bully.
Hi and welcome to the community though sorry to hear about your wife and the way this is affecting both of you. Your story is absolutely typical for someone who has jumped in to the carers role without even a decent guide to how to manage but I hope you both realise it is out of love and if you work together you will get through this.
It might help you to look at our guide looking after someone with cancer, if is easier for me but then I have been doing it for 6 years and in the early days I was a complete wreck and still have a cry from time to time - but that is ok too.
Be kind to yourself.
<<hugs>>
Steve
