Dear Anyone...
My husband has Bcell NH lymphoma and this is 3rd year of our battle. He has just completed 3 cycles of RICE chemo and now waiting to see if his bone marrow transplant will go ahead. He is under a London hospital and obviously Covid has an influence on the situation.
He has suffered sickness and anemia throughout treatment and needed several blood transfusions. One requiring emergency visit to hospital with suspected Covid infection on either side of us in A&E..Very scary, but we had our own masks & gloves thank god!
So that’s a bit about where we are. We have always managed to ride the tide of emotions, deal with a lot of external family pressure and duty. Recently however, I am not sure if it is him or me but things feel...broken 
He has become very impatient, short, intolerant. Everything is my fault, of course 
But given that he has fallen out with his mother (not hard - she’s horrible) his brother and now picking on me and all in the last three weeks does leave me wondering if there is more to this!?!
I have tried talking to him and he says he feels unwell physically but fine mentally, it’s everybody else! Still leaves me crying myself to sleep at night.
To actually write this down has been cathartic. I would love to hear any advice, experience or views 
thank you
