Anemia and mood

Hi , I'm sorry to hear things are going. Although you say your husband says he's 'fine mentally', the Covid 19 virus is causing a lot of distress in those already affected by illness.You could have a chat to his specialist nurse if you're worried. It would be great if you could contact friends over Skype or similar; it makes such a difference to have a virtual meeting. Your own mental health matters too. I'm sure you'll hear from others very soon.

Love and hugs,

Thank you LoobyLou

Yes Covid is very distressing. I think the further lack of control over one’s life & future also plays a part even for the strongest of us. 
He has plenty of friends to talk to, if he chooses too.  He is also medical so gives a very good impression when dealing with his Heamotology team. Although I have asked, he has never wanted to go to any support groups. I haven’t had time to go on my own because I have been left to run everything else!  Anyway, I thank you for the hug  

kindest 

Purple Skylark

hi,

it is often said that hurt and love go together, we often show our hurt only to people we really trust and of course that can end up not really helping anyone.

In terms of covid lots of people who don't have quite the same level of pressing problems are finding things difficult to cope, there are a lot of tips out their from mind who link this to mental wellbeing.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Dear Love,

Aw you must be completely exhausted with all this emotional turmoil that has been happening. You are providing lots of care and support, but who is looking out for you!

it is very important that you get some support and time to yourself. maybe try delegating more, especially when the covid crisis calms down. Ask his friends to video chat or visit, when allowed and arrange this, so as you can get some time to yourself, or time for you to meet a friend or attend a support group yourself.

You have to think of yourself sometimes. You are a carer as well as everything else. Give yourself a huge thumbs up for coming through everything you have.

I care for my dad who has bowel cancer, of which there is no cure now and we had to go to A&E last Tuesday for emergency blood transfusion. Dad was kept in overnight for the transfusion, then his temperature rose, so he had to be swabbed  for the virus. Thankfully it was negative. Hoping he will get home tomorrow.

Please take time out.

Best wishes

Celeste 44

Hi Steve 

Many thanks for your reply. Putting me in mind of how true those words are, one of the things I have loved about our relationship is our Ying and Yang. It can be testing but has always brought us through.

Spent today sitting outside the hospital for hours fretting while he learned what his next stage of treatment involves.  Bone marrow transplant (all sounds horrendous) He is currently in remission (yeah!) and prime for this next stage.  Though he appears sick and weak to me.

Then our local hospital call to say his mother has just died from Covid-19. Will it never end
What a F**king day! And I don’t swear...normally!

Sorry!

Thank you Celeste, I can tell you speak from experience and your heart. The days do feel never ending and problems relentless at the moment. With isolation and the transplant a couple of weeks away there will be no let up in sight. Although I will be unable to be with him for 5-6 weeks period while he is in hospital I will have to remain in isolation as I suffer from Lupus & psoriatic arthritis and a few other things that make life uncomfortable  Ooh I can sleep in!!!  Watch a film in bed and eat crisps

Maybe I will be able to take a rest and find a happy place for awhile

You’ve got me thinking now Celeste

Wish all well and comfort for your dear dad

Hugs

This might sound awful, but try to use that 5/6 weeks to recharge your batteries, have a rest and look after you for a change.  Reading your original post I can see similarities as my husband has also become impatient and now seems to feel the need to ‘instruct’ me in how to perform every task large and small ... perhaps this is the only control they perceive to have, but yes it is very tiring to those of us that are doing everything. Isolation doesn’t help!

Hope all goes well with your husbands treatment.

Hi 

I can REALLY identify.  My  25 year old son is being the same towards me horrid,  unpleasant and  the more I try and help and be kind the worse it is.  In fact it's stressing me more than coping with his illness I know that sounds mad!!

He had his stem cell transplant middle February following a diagnosis of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia last August 4 weeks after graduating from uni. It's been a long 7 months. Our daughter was the donor. 

Please feel free to message me anytime.  Stay safe and strong 

Hayley  x

Thanks Hayley 

It definitely doesn’t sound mad at all!!

I sometimes feel like his pawn ♟ on the chess board, to be micro managed, manoeuvred to what he wants/needs but can’t do.  Saddest part is, I am so good at predicting his needs that I’ve put myself in the firing line when I fail.  Made a rod for my own back by being over kind.  Well things will be out of control for the next couple of months and I pray we can be gentle with each other on the other side, while I nurse him through his recovery

I hope things improve for your family. He is a lucky boy. You have a brave and gracious daughter as he has a sister. He needs to learn patience, peace and gratitude. 
kindest

Suzy  Safe Hands 

Hi Jay

His getting a list together for me!  
preparing how to tell him politely, to get and just concentrate on what he has to do. I am my own task master!