My partner was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with breast cancer after a mammogram. So far she has had a single mastectomy with removal of some lymph glands and starts chemo soon, then radiotherapy. Of course it was a shock and all moved very fast. Absolutely wonderful surgeon, who gives all the time in the world, answers every question and is so kind and easy to talk to. Specialist Nurses ditto. Her two sisters came up to help, she recovered very well indeed from the op. The district nurses were great too. But now she has gone into what I guess must be an inevitable black hole. She cannot talk about anything else, all my attempts to be a bit normal, and try to get a bit of ordinary life, are turned down. She is bitter and angry. Won’t join any forums or meet others in a local support group. It’s tough I understand but I don’t know how to respond to the endless bitterness and ‘why me?’ And the need she has to turn every conversation back to cancer. I do not ever tell her to ‘be positive” or remind her she has a high chance of being cured or that the treatment may not be as bad as she fears...I know several people who have had both chemo & radiotherapy and said that. I never say ‘cheer up’ or ‘think of the people far worse,”....I am trying. And I am sorry to complain but any advice welcome please, as I fear “things can only get worse” ( sorry !)
Thank you...yes, clearly it is so individual. But we had a breakthrough earlier this morning when she went to take the gardener his coffee and came back talking about which bulbs to put in which pot
which led to a whole spring garden discussion without the words cancer or illness or anything appearing she really enjoyed it, I could see. Thanks and I hope your husband can find his own ‘bulb moment.’ X
