Mum to baby and coping with husband's cancer diagnosis.

Thankyou. Do you know after you said you read my story I went back and read what I had written. I can hardly remember writing this, I can only say you get stronger as you go through this journey, it's a change you won't even realise is happening. Hold on in there, as they say, you are stronger than you think xxxx

Mountains2019, 

He was doing really well, he went back to work full time in May and everything was pretty much normal until September when he had raised tumour markers and we found out in October the cancer had return.

We actually went to a specialist hospital in Basingstoke today and they are planning to do a HIPEC operation on him in January.

It does turn you life upside down, you think you have nailed the baby business and then this happens and everything you thought you knew now isnt so certain.

Doctors have come in to see us and commented "I was expecting you to be a lot older" not a helpful comment cancer effect everyone!!

5 of my husbands lymthnods had been effect hence the chemotherapy. The chemotherapy isnt as scary as tv make it out to be, he wasnt very sick, he didnt lose his hair, he just felt flu like for 6 months.

I have been looking at my children and husband and am terrified of them growing up without a father, since having cancer again that's all I can think of.

Xx

Haga, 

It's a terrible story isn't  it? But it could have been worse, could have been stage 4 instead of stage 3?

It was a massive blow to find out the cancer had come back so quickly- I think from what the surgeon said today that the cancer was probably present in the perineum but was so small it wasnt detected on the scan in January.

Oh that must have been the worst day of your life to hear those words- I really hope for you all that they can manage it. It's hard to try and keep it from the older children isnt it? Mine just think daddy has a bady tummy again and that hes having tests to see if hes a monkey

Basingstoke was very positive today, we are booked in provisionally for the HIPEC operation on the 13th January, just need to convince BUPA to pay.x

LJ5

Does it mean NHS doesn’t provide the HIPEC treatment? What are the chances BUPA will cover it? 
I hope you will manage to get it all organised for you.

it is tough with the older children- we had to tell our son everything because at one point my husband was so poorly we didn’t know what’s going to happen... 

the news was a complete shock to us because it was discovered by accident - I took a healthy and fit man to hospital.... two months later he’d lost 3 stones while he was waiting for the operation and the treatment to start.... it was impossible to hide it from our kids...

anyway he is much better now, Gained the weight back pretty much to where he was- struggling with side effects some days but we enjoy the good days and trying to do as much as we can when we can... 

I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you guys

best x

Hi Haga,

The NHS will cover the operation if you live in England but we live in Cardiff and the Welsh NHS dont recognise the operation as feasible. I spoke to BUPA today and they authorised the operation, but they then phoned my husband saying they require more information- so I am now worrying that they might have made a mistake.

Oh I'm glad your husband has gained the weight and is feeling a bit better. Cancer is awful and unfair, I am terrified all  the time now that we just wont know either of us will have it as his went undiagnosed for do long. 

Yes please keep everything crossed! xx

Yes I know what you mean- since my husband’s diagnosis I’ve been paranoid about my health. 
In the first couple of months any headache I had ( which was was 100 % stress related) I was really worried... 

Anyway I hope BUPA will cover the costs ( I also have my insurance with them). It may be that they need some more info... 

Let us know 

I hope you enjoy the weekend, I may treat myself to a G&T tonight. 

Hi 

Just been reading through this thread and I wonder if this would be of interest to you.

P.I.P.A.C a new treatment for advanced bowel cancer

It's about a trial and University Hospital of Wales are one of two hospitals in the UK that are offering it, the article gives an contact email address in Wales.

Hopefully the trial is still open as it started in Feb of this year.

Hope that it is of interest to you.

Kind regards 

Ian

Hi LJ5

how are you? I was wondering if you’ve managed to get things sorted with BUPA and if your husband had the op in January?

Sending best wishes 

H.

Hi Haga,

Yes Bupa paid for the operation and he had it as planned on the 13th January, they let him go home after 2 weeks- which was amazing!!! he's had a few issues with the stoma as he had the first part of the stoma reversal and now has an ileostomy, but the stoma nurses at the Heath seem to have sorted out that bag issue. 

We had the histology report when we were in hospital so just playing a waiting game now to see if he needs further chemotherapy- it's killing me waiting, I'm hoping they will discuss him at the MDT meeting tomorrow.

We also have a follow up in Basingstoke on the 24th to check on his recovery x

Hi , that's a tough time for you with such a very young one. You might like to pop your post code in here to see if there are any support groups in your area, also this link will take you to the Maggies Centres page; they run courses to help carers cope with stress among other things and people speak very highly of them. 

Love and hugs,