Lying awake

Morning its a common thing to lie awake turning things over in your mind its a very anxious time for you both and you are bound to be worried .But this will be a marathon not a sprint and you will have plenty of time to be there for your husband over the coming weeks and months .Let us know how you are getting on we all have experienced what you are going through and will be there for you. Take care and look after yourself xx

Thank you Granny Sue. Some of my symptoms are night sweats from the menopause too! Prob doesn’t help my emotions! 
Xxx

Know the feeling my dear its just one thing after another .Bill is now mostly in bed my daughter took him for a pneumonia jab today I  looked,after her boys my lovely grandsons .He really struggled and when he came back he needed an oxynorm and paracetomol .He had been in bed since but isnt in pain at the moment and is quite happy with the tv on .His speech has got worse but 3 months ago the oncologist wasnt worried even tho there was an area of the brain that was enhanced where the last brain met was .We are still waiting for m.r.i results but have informed oncology team he dosent want any more scans treatment or appointments.  Hopefully they will let us know results of the scan by phone and prognosis .We have a good palliative nurse and g.p so we will just be under them now. Personally I think he will do better with out oncology he has had so much treatment his poor little body cant take any more .Its a bit scary but its in his best interests he has no quality of life and more treatment if they could do anything will only make things worse .Lots of hugs to everyone will let you all know  What scan says xx

That is a really brave decision but if my opinion is worth anything I do sort of feel that the treatment gives poor quality life and I don’t really want to see my husband clinging to false hope of prolonging his life to be throwing up etc! But my opinion wasn’t sought! I feel the oncologist just pushed for what she wanted!!

i pray you get the help and support you need and that he has a peaceful happy life now and he just slips away when he is ready! 
Huge hugs to you all xxx

Thank thats what I hope but life isnt that simple is it ? Can only keep putting one foot in front of the other .Hope things go well for you both lots of hugs x

Thank you but at the moment I am not sure I can go to a hospital that keeps making errors! I am going to talk to my GP on weds! I feel that I will just blow my top if I go there! They then say you are angry about the diagnosis which is not true! It is not the cancer but the attitudes and lack of compassion! 
Praying for you xxx

I recognise what you say about hospitals, not always errors of course but simply a lack of any understanding of peoples needs outside the hospital. Despite having told them we have a son in primary school they would make appointments at 9 am meaning we would have to arrange with a friend to take out son to school - if they were available. Sometimes it is worth a chat with the PALS department as they can often help to get things sorted - in my case it was better than speaking to my GP as he recently said the hospital ignores him as much as it ignores us.

In terms of work have you considered asking for a "reasonable adjustment" - it might be worthwhile as otherwise you will be coming to work very stressed and of course will not be as productive as you might be at other times - certainly if you do not ask then they simply might not realise you need help.

<<hugs>>

Steve

I have no problems with work they are fantastic! I don’t want to stoop work! It helps ! 
Pals will not take my comments as a relative ! The hospiital staff just don’t listen and two days notice for an appointment is not appropriate!

Sorry you have this problem; our local PALS has worked quite well for me but then I am more formally registered as carer rather than just "a relative" and that does give some degree of leverage - mind you the letter from the MP to the CEO of the trust probably helps too.

The most wonderful we had was they moved Janice's appointment two hours forward with only 2 days notice - trouble was the letter only arrived after we had left and was waiting on the mat when we got home.

<<hugs>>

Steve

I am his wife!!! I want to remain that way not his nurse! I do that job 4 days a week!!! You are lucky to get letters he just gets a phone call a day before and with me having to work too it causes huge problems! I have asked for more notice but no!! 
I worked over 35 yrs for the NHS and know this is not good practice!!! 
I have had enough before he starts this guinea pig treatment to prolong life!!!