Lying awake

I understand completely, we have had appointment letters arriving after the appointment date, they must have been typed up and sent the day before, or maybe on the day of the appointment. Itakes me laugh in exasperation when a footnote on the end of the appointment letter tells you each missed appointment costs the NHS £150. Whoever types these letters must realise the letter isn't going to arrive in time, but not even a phone call. 

Hi @akela2516, sorry I seem to have upset you - I work too five days a week in what I consider a very important job but I am still a carer but not a nurse. Making you ill though is going to do nobody any good. You are totally right what you talk about is not good practice and needs challenged for your own health as much as anything else.

I am lucky in that I have support from both Maggie's and Macmillan who helped me decide what I needed to help me be there for my wife and son when they need me. I am lucky too in having a very supportive GP who recognises the important role I play in this package and he has made it clear that if I feel I need an urgent appointment he will be there for me.

Hope you get what you need out of the hospital and fingers crossed for the treatment.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve, 

you haven’t upset me! It is just a shame that our pals and hospital have not been as good as yours! 
I went to my GP today! My asthma is ok but she just said sorry I was stressed, go and find help! Could not tell me where!!! I asked for something to ease my stress on hospital visits and she said antidepressants take too long to work!!! I could have smacked her! I was not asking for antidepressants, I do not feel depressed just stressed which is different! I am quite accepting of the inevitable end! I can cope with that! It is the fear of death in the hospital due to complications of treatment! I saw that in my stepmum’s mother! 
I did get a lovely pharmacist who helped me with rescue remedy for those dreaded visits and kalms! 
I then went to our hospice to ask for leaflets! What a change, I was shown to a lovely room with a cuppa where the volunteer receptionist sat with me until the lead nurse came and spend about 3/4 hour with me, gave me loads of advice in directions to take, reassured me that I was not wrong in my expectations, explained what help is available and all about facilities at the end of life! She has told me how to get hi referred and it is not to early to be in the system! She has assured me we will be able to have a bed at the British legion nursing home which my husband will love! She has helped me get counselling and relaxation suggestions for me and most importantly she listened to me!!! I feel so much better now! But it was just finding the place to go!!! I have been nursing 34 years today! And was disappointed in what I have been seeing! I have seen one nurse at the hospital with care and compassion! Today I have met an exceptional nurse who just had those skills! You can not teach that with a degree!!! So happy there are one or two of us left stilll!!! 
ps it doesn’t matter what job we do, they are all important jobs especially if carried out well. Never diss your job it pays your bills and provides someone with a service! X

I have a lot of anxiety at night.  This is when the action reply video starts in my head.  Hearing the news in the hospital, wandering around in a daze, the surgery, the treatment, the appointments, the dismal survival statistics. Life without my hubby.   

I get up and read, do puzzles, sort out my photographs, anything to distract me. When I'm exhausted, I try again.

It's so hard to switch off isn't it, the night never ends. I bed hop, toss and turn, just waiting for sleep. I sometimes think of everyone else who is feeling the same and wish we could all have a chat to pass the time. On the whole though especially in the day I try not to think about anything other than what's going on now, we have a weekend break  this weekend, I hope that he will be OK. Sending you a hug, and hoping that you have the best day you can, Pam x

I get to sleep but just wake up so early!! Then toss and turn! Some of it might be the menopause! 
I have discovered a few things to help and work are helping me to organise counselling. 
A weekend away sounds wonderful. I hope it goes well for you xxx

Thankyou, I hope the weekend goes well also. He has, fluid in his abdominal cavity. A few weeks ago there wasn't enough to drain but yesterday evening he said it felt bigger. We will just have to take it as it comes, he's still sleeping at the moment. He still wants to go abroad though! Will let you know xxx