So Tired

Hi, the way you feel I completely understand, I'm right there with you on this one. It completely absorbs every thought, turns our lives upside down. I know for sure that although it's not me who has this awful disease, I'm walking the line right there. Tiredness is so debilitating both mentally and physically, the stress of being there for our loved one is hard, but we still do it because we care. Im not the best person to offer advice as I'm sinking fast, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. Its easy for people to say take care of yourself but how do you do that? I'm catching up on sleep with catnaps when I can, I've starting drinking loads of water, never done that before and it is beneficial. Maybe a GP appointment will help or just able to vent on here and know you are not alone. x

Hi ,

I'm sorry to hear what your mum and all of you are going through. Yes, your mum's the one with cancer, but don't underestimate your own needs. It's really important to get to your GP and let them know that you are a carer, partly because more support opens up for you as a carer but mostly because you need support right now. The lack of sleep is a sure fire way of wrecking your own health, believe me, I know. There's quite a range of very useful therapy available and, if necessary, don't shy away from any meds the GP might prescribe. You might also consider calling the Helpline; it's open 7 days a week 8am to 8pm and chatting to an expert can do so much to help pick you up.

Hugs,

Thank you for your honesty. I understand how you feel exactly.

I honestly don't think my husband's cancer will kill either of us, I think it will just wear us down. We have been in a state of shock since his diagnosis in March.

Also, four months isn't a huge amount of time to adjust.  It's unrealistic to expect your circumstances to get "better", but I hope you will find ways to rest.  I sleep in my car at lunch sometimes. I go to acupuncture and fall asleep on the table for a few minutes. Sometimes I have a drink before bed, sometimes I take a Valium.  Sometimes these work, sometimes not.  

It is difficult to find time for yourself, but you really do need to "put your own oxygen mask on first, before going to the aid of other people".  Make sure you take any offer of help.  Sometimes you need to be very specific about what you need.

I found a website to coordinate volunteers. lotsahelpinghands.com

Keep moaning to this group! I'm sure it will help you, and it has certainly helped me.

Peace and love.

Thanks all for taking the time to reply, 

I'm in a (slightly) better frame of mind now, I think recent upsets in treatment shook me up considerably, but that's all behind us now. I think the phrase I've taken to most is "put your own oxygen mask on first", so thanks for that quality bit of advice. In many ways I'm quite lucky, in that my employers are being extremely supportive, so I don't have to worry about work issues at the moment. On the negative side - I've overdone the gym and got a nice painful muscle strain in my neck.... 

Thanks all

C