What did everyone do about work?

Hi Helen_M

Thanks for your reply. That’s great you’ve managed to reduce your work to cope with caring for your Mum and yourself. My work have been very supportive so I’ve now reduced my hours too, and can change again if required. This has helped make sure I’ve got time for the important things alongside all the everyday tasks. Housework was never top of my list and I don’t intend to change now ha ha!

 Take care x

Hello all, I'm new to this group, it's great to hear about everybody's experiences, although obviously not great if you know what I mean.  My husband has AML and has been given up to a year, he's been poorly all year so far (bowel cancer in March).  My work have been fantastic, I had the whole of August off as we have a 10 year old son.  They have offered me 6 months paid leave, I'm just not sure when to take it.  

Whilst having August off was wonderful, I'm finding it hard to get back into full time focus mode at work especially knowing the worst is still to come.

My best wishes to you all.

Hi ChrisM5498

Thanks so much for your reply. Apologies for the delay in responding but the delights of hospital visits and work have kept me busy.  Your work sound like they’ve been fantastic. My work have been amazing too so I’ve agreed to reduce my hours, and can make changes as and when I need them.  It’s such a relief to be able to do this. It’s sad to hear that all employers aren’t as supportive. It must make a tough situation even tougher for your sister.  Take care x

Hi Somerset

Welcome to the group, although to be fair it’s a club that no-one really wants to join (if you know what I mean!).

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I was off from June to August so understand what you mean about struggling with full time work! I’ve decided to go part time, dropping from 5 to 4 days, to help me juggle family life and work with hospital visits. My husband’s had his stomach removed today and will in hospital for the next 2 weeks so I’m dropping to 5 hours a day during this time. This has really helped reduce stress and made sure I’ve got time for my 2 teenage sons as well as daily hospital visits, plus a little bit of time for me.  That’s fantastic your work have offered you paid leave. It’s hard planning leave when you have no idea what the next few months look like. That’s the hardest thing for me as I like to be organised! However, I’m learning to take a day at a time, enjoy the little things and not look too far ahead.

Take care x

I’m similar to you. Partner diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer in June. Just as our youngest was finishing her GCSE’s. I’ve been off since. Initially because things went bad really quickly due to unruly calcium levels. They are now under control as he has started immunotherapy treatment. Now it’s all the lovely side effects. I am meeting my line manager tomorrow to discuss a phased return. I don’t feel ready for it but know that as he has been given a terminal diagnosis, this might be the best he will be for a time. It is making me a bit anxious. 

I’m similar to you. Partner diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer in June. Just as our youngest was finishing her GCSE’s. I’ve been off since. Initially because things went bad really quickly due to unruly calcium levels. They are now under control as he has started immunotherapy treatment. Now it’s all the lovely side effects. I am meeting my line manager tomorrow to discuss a phased return. I don’t feel ready for it but know that as he has been given a terminal diagnosis, this might be the best he will be for a time. It is making me a bit anxious. 

Hi Phil,

I’ve been wondering about this same question myself, my partner was diagnosed with bowel cancer two weeks ago, my work didn’t offer compassionate leave (apparently that’s only for if he dies) so my GP signed me off for three weeks so I’d have a bit of space to adjust to the shock, she’s happy to sign me off for longer but I feel under pressure from work to return to work and I have no idea how work is going to fit in this new reality that’s suddenly here.

I have nothing constructive to say, I’m just voicing some concerns, it’s great to hear that some people have such supportive employers. I need to get my sensible head screwed on and arrange a proper meeting at work to see what they can do for me but work seems like some sort of abstract concept in the midst of all this and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.

thanks to everyone for posting, it’s good to hear how people are managing.

Hi Anon

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. It is all very new at the moment, so try to go easy on yourself and take it one day at a time. I do hope that your workplace is not pressurising you, though I can understand how you may feel that way.

I would suggest that you arrange a meeting with your manager and/or HR department. They may surprise you and be able to offer some alternatives. I'm not sure what you do for a job, but is there any possibility of working one day from home for example? Perhaps try to think of ways that you could be flexible- like working from home, or flexing your hours a bit and put this to your employer.

A lot of the time, and this is just me, but I find that work can be a distraction and just being around my colleagues and a sense of normality is helpful.

Best of luck, and feel free to chat on here again

Helen

Hi Helen,

Thanks for the sound advice and kind words. I’ve arranged a meeting with my HR so have my fingers crossed that we can arrange something that’ll work -I’m a uni lecturer and teach 5 days a week, I just don’t feel I can stand in front of forty students for 6 hours a day at the moment.

Thanks again x

Hi Anon

Good luck with your meeting. I can empthasise with that. I do sometimes find it difficult to concentrate at work. A client (who I get on with well) told me on the phone one day that I sounded "funereal" .......I had to bite my tongue not to snap back with the reason why!

Take it easy

Helen