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Hi,I'm grateful to have been allowed to join this board as the person I care for doesn't have cancer.I've been looking after my 84 year old mother since she had a brain haemorrhage in 2004.It's been very tough and lonely at times but we get along well and have got through some difficult times.Mum is very disabled now after a series of strokes and a fractured spine and her mobility is poor.Back in April mum became unwell and had to go into hospital and then on for rehabilitation.Normally she would have come straight home,but she was transferred to a local care home in May.This was because I was waiting to have a TURBT procedure on my bladder.After biopsies I was diagnosed with a rare type of bladder cancer (Squamous cell carcinoma) a month ago.Poor mum just wants to come home and I feel guilty every time I visit her.Mum cannot be left at home on her own,she is much too vulnerable.I'm still coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis but my main concern is mum and how we are going to cope.I've been told my only treatment option is bladder removal but will know more next month when I see the specialist.Best wishes to you all.Jane

FormerMember over 5 years ago

winkers60

Hi Jane

Welcome to the carers only group but I'm sorry that you've had to join us but I am pleased that you have as you've found a really safe place to come to for help and support. You can pop in for a chat, to have a rant or rave or just generally let off steam on anything that's concerning you we don't judge because we all feel the same.

Over in the Bladder cancer forum group my friend rily is always available to offer a helping hand when you are working your way through the maze of information you will be given and help with any questions you have

With your mum being in a care home she will no doubt be receiving the best of attention and can understand her wanting to come having spent more time than I care to remember in one but you need not feel guilty you have your own health to look after and you will need to take things easy for a time if you have your bladder removed and won't be able to give your mum your full attention

You shouldn't worry there is a lot of help available out in the community whether it be from your local Adult Social Team or the many charities (Macmillan included) who can help with any care at home packages, the motto is if you don't ask, you don't get, so through Macmillans telephone support line on 0808 808 0000 you can speak to one of the financial teams who can advise on everything your mum can claim for. You have probably noticed when you visit the hospital a rather nice setting in the foyer with the signage saying Macmillans Information Support Services next you are there don't pass by pop in and introduce yourself I think you'll be amazed at what they have on offer which includes advice on benefits with the added bonus that they can help to complete benefits forms either in the centre or your home. It is amazing the amount of benefits that are unclaimed so your mum has nothing to lose by claiming.

The groups members are full of advice and help and will willingly share their experiences with you, it's often nice to hear how someone else overcomes problems

We're here 7 days a week and for some funny hours during the day (and night) so if you need to ask anything no matter how small you think it may be come on here or the bladder group and someone will answer you out

Keep in touch we like to know how our new friends are doing but above all look after yourself.

Ian

winkers60 over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Thank you so much Ian,

Jane

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