Hi everyone,
My husband got diagnosed at the end of April after 2 months of tests with 2 neuro endocrine tumours in his pancreas. He had surgery nearly 2 weeks ago to remove his whole pancreas.
I'll give a bit of background so hopefully I wont get judged. We've got 4 children 22, 20, 14 and 7 and a 3 year old Granchild too. Since my husband got poorly in March I've either been with him or at least 1 of the children. I used to help my oldest out with my Granchild as she has just qualified as a HCA level 3, which means doing 12 hour shifts but works an hours drive away. I'm also disabled and up until March my husband was having to do alot around the house and for me too.
From the very beginning I've had to be the strong one, put on a brave face, 'everything will be fine' as I've ALWAYS been with at least one of them at all times (believe me this is how I cope! And dont mind a bit).
Now surgery is done I'm really struggling with my emotions, I've noticed I'm being quite short with my kids. And constantly wanting to cry. I have close friends but not much of my family and dont feel I can really let my feelings out to his family.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? I feel like I'm letting myself and everyone else around us down by not coping too well and not slept more than 4 hours a night for well over 2 weeks now. What is wrong with me? Any suggestions gratefully received
Thank you for reading part of my story x
Hi and welcome to the community though sorry to hear about your husband and the effect it has had on you and your family.
I understand exactly where you are, I was there when I first reached out for help at my local Maggies and got my story out among the sobs and the box of tissues.
Lack of sleep is something that can make you ill very quickly and many of the other symptoms you talk about are very common, you have been superwoman and done really well but those batteries do run down.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me, realised I needed to be thankful for what I have rather than thinking what might happen in a future I cannot control, concious breathing is helpful for both coping with the unexpected but also as a relaxation tool. Crying can be really helpful too even for a big strong bloke!
You are human not letting anyone down, you might like to read I'm looking after someone with cancer as I am sure there is a lot you will relate to.
<<hugs>>
Steve
