Life goes on..

FormerMember over 5 years ago

5 replies
42 subscribers
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my other half survived blood cancer and everything that it through at him. I was at his side, giving him every reason to live and supporting his children to visit him. Many of his friends said he would never have made it, if it wasn’t for me. At the time, I didn’t want to hear that, as it made me feel overwhelmingly responsible.

Life has moved forward, but now he treats me like crap. So much of his problems are my fault & he can be really nasty & horrible, saying incredibly hurtful things.

He started smoking again & I told him I would leave him, he’s put on way too much weight, his own over eating and drinking & gets angry with me cause his clothes don’t fit him. He wants to be successful & wealthy and doesn’t stop going on about it.. I had to say to him to stop it as he sounded like his gold digging children!

Is this normal post treatment behaviour? I cannot tolerate his disregard for the money it cost to save his life & I told him that. His currently got a persistent cough & wont see the GP as he would have to confess to smoking, whilst on holiday! His angry, thinks he deserves something and to be honest, I really don’t like him at the moment..

solutions welcome

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi,

Sorry to hear that you are going through this, a cruel blow after going through treatment.

Nor sure if you could say it is normal, but probably not totally unheard of.

I have no expertise to offer you, but just to say - you are absolutely entitled to your own happiness - as a carer you do not lose rights!

You may hate this idea, but maybe you could see if he would consider counselling - he is likely suffering and it may help.

Best of luck to you.

Needing friends over 5 years ago

Wow, that seems so unfair, as has been suggested maybe he needs counselling, though perhaps he wouldn't think so. Seems he is trying to grab life with both hands feeling that after everything he has been through he deserves more without taking any responsibility. I guess he needs a reality check as he has not factored in one very important thing, and that is YOU. Remember that you are important and do not deserve to be the butt of his anger. Perhaps professional help and counselling for you are needed as you also have the right to be respected and loved. Stay strong lovely xx

Love is eternal

Needing friends over 5 years ago

Love is eternal

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to Needing friends

Hi... I’ve not been on here for a bit and the rocky road of our relationship continues.. .. I now understand that he survived as a result of his denial, as a strength it helped him to fight the grim reaper demons, but as life goes on, this strategy isn’t healthy.

He tried counselling, but he knew better. Our marriage is falling apart as I believe I deserve better than the brunt of his anger and his alcoholic behaviour.

Needing friends over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hello sweet pea, you deserve a medal as big as a frying pan putting up with so much for so long. You do deserve more than being the brunt of his anger, if only he could see how awful he is being. I think you have to follow his lead and be selfish yourself, make sure you make yourself a priority, both physically and mentally. I hope you don't mind me asking, but I hope you aren't afraid or in a truly abusive relationship. Just ignore me if I have overstepped the mark and accept my apologies xx

Love is eternal

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