Finding it difficult coping with husbands violent verbal mood swings, and have felt frightened sometimes.

Hi Potter fan, 

I haven't been on this site for ages as I lost my husband last year. But I saw your post

If you give a little more info on your husband diagnosis and treatment there will be lots of people here to help and will completely understand this. 

If I could guess, either brain tumour, or steroids? Both give this behaviour but so do many many others.

First and foremost, talk to GP/specialist nurse/chemo team, - any or all. Ensure you speak to someone today.

If steroids are involved, some tweaking of the dose and you will have improved behaviour very quickly. If its a brain tumour, meds can also help. (I had experience of both) 

Don't wait, no guilt - you are not do bing him in, you are protecting him from the very real affects of cancer and its treatments. You will be the voice that, at times, he will not have the ability to do so for himself. 

Remember this is cancer not him, "your oxygen mask on first", then his. Your safety first, pick up the phone now, keep ringing until you speak to somebody today.

Big hugs, you can do this xx

Hello Birdfeeder,

Thank you so much for reading and replying to my post. We think it is the steroids he has to take before the chemo as he is totally wired for nearly 3 days and then comes down with such a huge thud!! He has had his treatment postponed this week due to his emotional state and are hopeful the treatment can be modified next time. He also suffers badly with oral thrush, so much so that he had to be hospitalised after the first course as he was so dehydrated but is now being treated with drops to enable him to cope with eating and drinking.

He has metastatic prostate with enlarged lymph nodes and the treatment will hopefully shrink and help manage the condition but the diagnosis came totally out of the blue (but doesn't it always) as he was originally diagnosed with a possible hernia until the CT scan showed otherwise. He hadn't felt unwell at all before, and not really since, so he sometimes says he thinks the hospital got it wrong! He has agreed to see a counsellor now, so I am hoping he will get a lot of benefit from that.

I am so sorry you lost your husband, and I am so grateful that you took the time to get in touch with me. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, and I will certainly remember them.

xxx

So sorry to hear the diagnosis, and I hope you get lots of respite time. 

Last year, once we found that my husband was incurable, we went on a few breaks. He was in a wheelchair when he finished radiotherapy but we went to York anyway. By the end of the holiday he was walking! (albeit with the chair carrying bags as a backup) We visited family but stayed in cheap b+bs, for "us time". He was well past "us time" really but it gave us peace. We had a glorious summer. Find time to do it if you can, because positive actions do gain time and energy to beat cancer down. 

Life with cancer is hard for the patient and the carer but you can have pockets of joy along the way xx

BTW there is counselling available for carers too. I also highly recommend Maggie's centres if you can get to one. You will be surprised what it offers and what you both can gain if you take the first step through the door. It will not be what you imagine. 

You are not alone my hubby has to take steroids every day , and he can go from happy go lucky to the rage monster in the flick of a switch. I keep telling myself it's not him it's the drugs. Now when he gets uptight and moody I try to get him to go to a lay down. That way I get space from his mood swing and he gets time to calm back down. It does get you down tho and many a time I have ended up in tears, but as of yet it's never been physical only temper tantrums.

hi there.. i have been caring for my partner for 2 years now.. his moods are awful too.. a mix of frustration, the meds and feeling a loss of what he was.. us carers have to put up with the lot!!.. i find loud music through headphones and a `glass` of wine helps!! xx