Awake and up all night

Hi Brian.

I don't know if I told you during our last conversation. But the consultant dropped another, I  don't know bomb into the equation!.

He said, I must apologise. I didn't read your histology results fully, and I missed the fact that there was a lymph node which contained 2mm of adenocasinoma. I was quite shocked by this, and i'm not quite sure if I took it in what he said after that.  However, I have a copy of the letter to the g p which didn't mention not reading the report fully.But did say it was not a true modal  metastases. I do have the oncologists to see at some point as he referred me for psychological support, not really sure, if that's their role.But hey ho. He told me they'll explain why they are Not going to start treatment.

I just can't believe he sat there and said he didn't read a report fully and expect me not to think anything of it. I am in  insuch a fluffing mess.

I

Hello Alan (Al985 ) 

Thank you for the update - I am so sorry to read your latest news. I think if I was in your shoes (which I am not) I would do the following:

* Use the NHS app to Self Refer to NHS Talking Therapies (counselling). I am sure this would help.

* You need to look forward - you can't change what has happened. You are going to need continuing care as your PSA is rising - let's concentrate on the here and now not the past.

* I am aware of where you had your treatment (no names as I can't name and shame) however you need a complete change for your ongoing care. Have you thought about where you could go? The Christie in Manchester is the 4th best cancer hospital in the world - they look after me and they are outstanding.

Have a think - let's move on and leave the past behind.

Best wishes - Brian.

My wife put up with pain for months and was told by a number of doctors that she had a rotator cuff injury. She had a scan and we got a phone call from the doctors saying sorry you've got cancer. I broke down. 

Does anyone else struggle with switching off and relaxing?

Yes, me too. Particularly for the last couple of days. Just finished first cycle of chemo and have consultant appt Monday so it might be that.  Could be the change in temperature. It's gone very warm, very quickly!

Hope you get some rest soon.

Julie xx

I think many of us struggle with an overactive mind now and then. There's the 'what ifs' which can feed on a lack of information e.g. when waiting for results from a test, concerns about the world situation, personal financial matters....the list of things which can cause our brain to really dig in is endless. Sometimes the cure is to refrain from drinking too much coffee but generally I try to distract myself from a train of thought which I want to stop. Music can help, or watching a comedy clip which has amused me in the past. If distraction does not work, I will try to step back from the train of thought and ask myself what positive outcome is possible by dwelling on these things. If information is lacking, can I obtain reliable information later? If so, make a note then gradually switch off until the plan can be progressed. Then relax and have a nice cup of coffee...oh... well maybe just a small one .  Ray  

You're bang on there Ray...test results, what's happening in the world and finances.  Absolutely what are in my thoughts.  I need to find a Miss Marple to take my mind off it all. I seem to have developed a love of murder mysteries! Not sure what that says about me!!

Julie xx

Thanks Ray,

Really appreciate this.

Trying to focus on my garden.