Awake and up all night

of course, thank you

No problem at all.  Before my fella and me got the diagnosis, I already suspected he had cancer and told him so, as I've always been direct with him.  When it came, although upset, he was prepared somewhat, and I told him I'd stand by him no matter what.  It did help, as very shortly after, he had an emergency tracheostomy and was unable to speak again.  I became his voice, so he had to put all his trust in me alongside the doctors and nurses.

If you like, you can get our fuller story by reading my profile just by clicking on my username.  Then we can talk more about what you're going through.  I know you said you want to help others, which is great, but it's so new to yourself it might be a better idea to concentrate first on the things that are much closer to home.  Does that sound ok as I don't want you to rush at things; slow down and take a few breaths.

Gill xx 

yeah, thats a helpful answer, i get the guilt feeling easily, feel bad talking about myself when everyone on here is going through same, similar or worse. but thankyou for understanding that. I will check ure profile, didnt know we could write in that, i should probably add to mine. xx You sound like an amazing person btw

you have deffo been through it, and still are, you sound like an amazing women and im so happy he got to ring that bell

Lol!  I'm not but decided to give myself a good shake and it did the trick.  You asked about support - although people are well meaning, they don't get it unless they've been there themselves.  I get the best support here on the community.  I've only been here a few months but have made some amazing friends who do get it, sufferers and carers alike, and they never judge or tell you to stop complaining.  And they listen, too which is one of the most important things.  

If you stay, which I really hope you do, you'll start to click with others in a similar place as yourself, then you'll know who to seek out for respite if you need a shoulder to lean on.  It really does work like that here.  I think I'd have hit rock bottom if I'd have carried on googling as it scared me silly!  Word of advice - avoid Google and stick to reputable sites if you're seeking information.

Whatever you do, don't feel guilty as it's nobody's fault, and importantly, keep your sense of humour as it will lift your dad - he won't want you to be angry and unhappy.  Trust me on that one xx

thanks so much for that, i will deffo stay on here

Nice one and think about using your profile as a blog - it's really cathartic to put things down.  You sound really articulate and would write a good one I reckon.  I'll read it if you do xx

i will when i have experienced a bit more, i had a stroke in 2021 after my covid jab, wrote a blog then to help, reached all corners of the world

Blimey!  Coincidence - my fella had a stroke in 2023.

my health has snowballed since, one thing after another and all cause of that jab, grrr lol