Awake and up all night

Never know whether I’m posting in the correct place.  Just needed to ask if anyone else was awake worrying about upcoming surgery

Any time my friend, I'm glad you've added another string to your bow, I do love birds, but blackbirds aren't my favourite, the little buggers pinch all my cherries and half my strawberries every year, lol, I'll post you some pics of my feathery friends on the allotment.

Eddie xx 

Hi Sheelagh, I'm still awake my friend, "unfortunately," I'm not allowed surgery, but my eldest daughter and the kids mum have recently had major surgery for cancer, so l have a good understanding of the emotional side and a little on the surgical side if that helps, 

Eddie xx 

Well guys, I'd better try to get some sleep, lots of proddings and poking to look forward to, and an early start, I  hope we all get some decent sleep.

Eddie 

I totally appreciate it's difficult but when I'm in your boat I try to remember something a psychologist I was sent to for an insurance claim after I was in a pretty bad car accident (someone crashed into the back of me)... honestly genuine, not a crash for cash lol

I told him that when back driving again I got VERY  worried when I found myself having to slow down suddenly, and in near panic mode I was checking my rear view mirror to make sure those behind had realised I was slowing down this time.

The psychologist simply said "if you looked in your mirror and someone is about to hit you, would all that worry and mirror checking do any good? would you be able to suddenly lift your car off the ground to avoid it? Instead, focus on what you can control, having a positive a mindset that you will remain safe and well in all eventualities"

I've been TRYING, not always winning but still trying, to apply this advice this last 6 months to my cancer diagnosis...  before I got the diagnosis,  worrying about getting it wasn't going to change it, but being in a positive mindset about how to deal with it might help.

After breaking my femur I beat myself up so badly for the minor risk I took trying to throw a few bowls on the green, but soon realised the extra worry of that wasn't going to help either, I had to just deal with the repercussions of that also... I told the doctors in no uncertain terms, if you have to amputate just do it, it's fine... thankfully though (I hope) they chose not to.

Since then my histology report was good and the pet scan, 7 and a half weeks after the break was clear... chest x ray to check for any signs of spread again in August, I will try to deal with it when it comes, and remind myself every day that worrying about it won't change the outcome.

Really sorry if I sound like I'm on my soapbox,  tbh I'm as much preaching to myself lol...

As I said I'm with you on the worrying front and know how tough it is.

Hope this helps.

Love and hugs

Steve xo

Good morning Sheelagh.  I've not got upcoming surgery myself, but I do understand the worry, by proxy, when my fella had his last December.  In the run-up to his major op, I kept reminding myself, and him, that it was a necessary process to make him well again, and it did.  When we were waiting it was two months of solid stress, but many things had to fail into place first, and when I think back I'm glad they did.

I appreciate the 17th must seem a long way off lovely, but it's just a week now and it will fly by.  In the meantime, have you any plans or things in the pipeline to keep you occupied?  You could ask your friends on the breast cancer forum for good tips to help you ease through the next few days?  But if you'd rather just chat then this is a good place too, as many here have shared your experience and can also help.

Sending you hugs and strength and keep marching forward xxx

Good luck Eddie and night night xxx

Thanks Big Stevie and Gill xx

What a great pic. Well you know what you have to do now? With your new mobile, you will have to take lots of new photos and collect some new memories! Well done!

Well done Big Stevie, my friend and I used to go walking during the light nights and most of the day on a Saturday or Sunday, walking 9 or 10 miles in the winter and maybe 15 or 20 miles in the summer, those were the days!

Big Stevie said:

no sign of any loss of my good head of hair as yet (which I've been well warned CAN be a side effect of this chemo

I lost all my hair, it's just started growing back 2 months after my last chemo. I've got a Sinead O'connor cut atm  .

H