Awake and up all night

Hahaha  

No Lynne, they'd be able to do wonders with all the studio tech, and have you sounding like an opera singer. I'm not sure your cat would appreciate that either  

Hello peeps,

I love popping on here and reading all the messages of support and genuine kindness. My six month scans are coming up and I’m feeling a bit panicky.

Anyone else here been through lung cancer & a lobectomy? I’m really worried about recurrence and my mind feels like a stuck record at the moment.

Sorry to be such a downer. I know a lot of you on here have all sorts of things to contend with, & you are all so incredibly brave and matter of fact about stuff.

My best to you all.

Evening Brighthing, and what a lovely post. You're certainly not putting a downer on anything sweetheart, and your anxiety about scan results is perfectly understandable. I'm my OH's carer, but he always seems far more laid back than me about those.

I'm unsure if anyone here has been through the same as yourself, but if you join the lung cancer group you'll find plenty of advice and support there, I'm sure of that. I don't know about others here, but in our case it's not braveness, more acceptance and determination that keeps us going.

Try not to panic and just take things steady. Sending you all the best for your results and big hugs my lovely xxx

Nor me don't think the tech has been invented that could improve my voice .hugs 

You are funny Lynne  It must be that famous Scouse humour, and never fails to get me laughing. Hugs back xxx

The truth of it is that I find myself waking up in the middle of the night with feelings of dread. I was brave for the surgery, but then my husband of 29 years just deserted me. He must have someone else (although he denies it). I got an email from a lawyer saying he wants a divorce. I just don't feel like I can cope if the damn cancer comes back. I feel like all the fight in me has just packed it in. Coping with the diagnosis was bad enough, this just feels like the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

I know it happens to a lot of people (predominantly women) but I keep thinking "why me, why now"? Sorry to moan and vent, but I genuinely feel at the end of my strength and resolve.

Results some time after the 6th, but no oncology appointment until 18/12 - yes you read that right.

Oh my word sweetheart, you've got one thing piled on top of the other, and it's so unfair you have to deal with all this.

Don't you worry about having a vent, as this is the place to do just that, and there'll be no judgement from anyone here. Firstly, why not not get in touch with someone from your healthcare team, or your CNS maybe, and let them know how concerned you are about the length of time between results and the oncology appointment? It's really not acceptable to leave you high and dry for so long, so push for an explanation as to why. You've nothing to lose by becoming a pest - it's paid dividends for us over the last year.

Now I'm not sure what advice to give with regards your soon to be ex-husband, but maybe a call to Citizens Advice would be a start, as I'm sure they've dealt with the same scenario many times. Personally, I'd be gearing up to take the bugger to the cleaners,  but that's me and not recommended for all. I know you've got a lot in your plate right now, but please don't give up and try not to let recurrence take over your thoughts - you won't know till you know for certain, so hold that thought. You're spot on that a lot of men do a bunk when their other halfs succumb to cancer, and you've been unlucky there, but would you really want him back, now you've seen his true colours? Get all the other stuff out of the way first, then deal with him, but make that call to CA, and even the Macmillan helpline as they'll also have people who will be able to give you sound advice. There is help out there, so reach out for it and don't try to do everything by yourself.

If you can't sleep, come here and we'll try to help, or rant away and we'll listen, but don't feel alone. Sending you so much strength and courage for the battles ahead sweetheart - you can get through this. Big hugs xxx

Thanks Gill,

I know you’re right. What you wrote makes sense. I just lost my sense of North, my compass is broken.

Thank you for listening.

Morning sweetie.

Aw, you'll always find a listening ear with us, but I sometimes get carried away and got incensed by everything that's been thrown at you when you must be feeling very vulnerable right now. I should have asked if you've got support at home to fall back on, or trusted friends who'll rally round. I really hope so. With NY looming a gap in outside help will present an obstacle, but maybe you could make a call today, to your team, and get the wheels in motion, as at least some of the pressure taken off could ease your mind somewhat.

I stayed awake till around 1.30 am, but then conked out for several hours, so sorry for not getting back till now hon. But I reckon others here will want to help mend that broken compass, so do come back, anytime you want to for moral support. I sincerely hope you get somewhere today to get back on track, and the Macmillan helpline opens at 8 am if you'd consider a start with them.

More hugs and added hope coming your way xxxx

Hello Brighthing 

I am so sorry to read of your situation, Gill H is right you may well find people in the same or a similar situation to yourself on the Lung Caner Group. Here's a link that will take you directly there:

Lung cancer forum 

Just click on this link and you will be there. You can then introduce yourself and ask any questions you wish - there will be plenty of others in a similar situation.

Best wishes - Brian.