Awake and up all night

Hi HeadlessChicken, and a warm welcome from me, and I will Echo Jane's words fully, you are no fraud my friend, looking after a loved one, when you are reasonably well is difficult, having to do it while going through a cancer journey makes it so much harder, and having done both, and being ex-healthcare would advise everyone to grab all the support available to them, I  do hope things are at last looking a little brighter for you, hopefully your bed issues will be behind you soon, and you can get some well deserved sleep.

Eddie xx 

Hi HeadlessChicken

So sorry to read about your situation, and I do hope you manage to sleep in a comfy bed as soon as possible!

My mum is 94, and has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and dementia. I do not live near her, so can't get involved with her care, but my siblings are, and it is exhausting them. I do understand how hard it must have been for you, dealing with it whilst also going through your cancer treatment. My mum is refusing to consider moving into a care home, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to support her at home. It is really hard on my brother and sisters.

Try to ignore that 'little voice'.....it will sap your energy, and take away your focussing on the positive things in your life. Easy to say, I know! But worry just drains you of hope for the future.

Life will be much brighter once you can get a good night's rest!

xxxx Kate

Thank you so much for your kind words. Means a lot.

Your welcome my friend.

Eddie xx 

I am trying to focus on the positive things but today I have been struggling with yet another disappointment.  Fingers crossed tomorrow will be better. My mum was quite anti Care Home but eventually her physical health got to the point where she was in constant pain and wouldn't accept help.  By the time she went in for 'respite' as we couched it she was just so grateful not to have to struggle on and then her dementia progressed quite rapidly by which time she was enjoying being looked after and having trips and company 24/7. So it worked out okay for her. One of my best friends put her mum into care against her will and she was cross at first but happy now.  It is tough knowing what to do and when.

Thank you Jane. We have been quite lucky as we have our own little house and just needed to sell my mum's to pay for the care home fees.  Once I had finally cleared it - we got the clearance people in at the end - we put it up for sale and found a buyer within days and sold it within 12 weeks.  My husband is disabled so it has been hard on him watching me deal with first the cancer and then getting upset about my mum.  We found Maggie's to be very supportive in the early stages of coming to terms with the aftermath - but now I feel like I should be drawing a line and moving on.  It feels like everything has been held in limbo while I coped with various crises and now things are supposed to be okay - the emotions I had been ignoring are falling on me from a great height.

T'wit T'woo hooo hoo etc...

Evening Jane and anyone else crackers enough to be here instead of kip!

What heartwarming posts you and Eddie wrote to Headless chicken.  Aw the poor lass; no way is she a fraud, more like superwoman taking all that on.  I guess a lot of us here have been in her shoes, taking up the reins to tie up our loved ones finances, houses, etc when they leave for elsewhere.  It's damned hard work, not to mention very sad, but to do all that when battling cancer... blimey o' Riley!  No idea how she coped and the ongoing palaver with the bed was an unwanted diversion.  Sheesh!

If you come back, HC, plenty of lovely folk to fall back on - we'll catch you.

Ah, Jane.  I like jazz too but more into jazzy blues like Billie Holiday.  When it first came out, my mates and me went to see Lady Sings the Blues, based on her life.  Diana Ross played her really well.  Have you ever seen it, as it's been on telly a couple of times?  I also saw a documentary on BH a few years back and really enjoyed that.

Crikey, I don't half prattle on.  I'll button it for a bit and see if anyone else wants to get a word in.  Promise.

Gill xx 

Hello Gill. I fully agree with your comments regarding HeadlessChicken's predicament. To have enough emotional and physical stamina to face it all shows remarkable strength of character. HeadlessChicken: I hope your ordeals will now rapidly diminish. The safety net is here. I only discovered it a bit over a year ago, thank goodness, but my diagnosis was back in 2017. Ray x

On a much lighter note, I narrowly avoided wrecking a tooth or two 30 minutes ago. A stuffed olive still had its stone. I realised a split second before bearing down on it with my few remaining teeth. I'm still terrified of dentists. That was a close call! 

Hi HC, I think you are being far too hard on yourself and as others have said, you are no fraud. I suspect with everything going on and then the problems with your bed and not having a good nights sleep on top, that was just one thing too many to cope with!

I think once you go down the road of “what if’s” etc it is time you asked for help! I would say if you found Maggie’s a help before then why not pop back in again. That is what they are there for. Your mind is working overtime and whether you have a new bed or not, that will stop you having a proper sleep! I do hope the bed situation gets resolved soon and once you go back to Maggies you will sleep much better!