Awake and up all night

Oh lucky you, what part of Spain. Hope you have an amazing time. 

It was sunny today which was nice. I have a few plans for the weekend, so hopefully that will help take my mind of things. X hugs x 

• Hi Gilly, almost sleepy time, as it's a full on day tomorrow, your LOH is very astute, cancer is an awful disease, but you do meet some wonderful people through it, and I know many guys on the prostate forum who like how certain treatments have made them more emotional and their empathy levels have gone through the roof.
• I was thinking about the 1st time I met Sheila's son and DiL, we ended up after a lovely evening, playing twister, jeez they were barely 20yo then; where does the time go?, sleep well my friend.
• love Eddie and family xx 

Hi Odette and a very warm welcome to our group.

You've not come to the wrong place my lovely, and no apologies needed for a chat. Well, what a day you've had, but seeing that scan isn't an indicator that it was yours and you're best waiting for the correct results, even though you're in that awful no-man's-land of waiting. It's the unknown that's the worst, so you could contact your CNS and tell them of your concerns, if only to put your mind at ease. You know already you made a boo-boo, consulting that charlatan Dr Google, so give him a swerve as he'll lead you down some very deep rabbit holes. Reputable sites like Macmillan and NHS are the best if you can't contain your understandable desire to delve xx

So I mainly live here as I'm my OH's full time carer - he had a laryngectomy last December, and it's caused many health issues, but he's still here and that's the main thing. I also frequent the Head and Neck forum as that's pertinent to his particular cancer. But in our little group here, we chat about anything although we are supportive and serious when it's needed.

Well I hope that's given you a little insight about our very friendly group, and you'll always be welcome to join in any discussions as and when you feel like it. Aw, two little angels who of course you'll be fretting over, but children are very resilient and if the time comes to tell them anything, you'll be able to guage how to do that best.

I've yapped on long enough, so over to you Odette, if I haven't bored you off to sleep, which might be a good thing. Sending hugs xxx

Hi Gill

Managed to fall asleep for a few hours. Thank you for your kind words. 

Sorry to hear about your husband. Hope you are looking after yourself. 

Xx

 Odette1fa42a0 you are in the right place.  You know the screen you saw, it might not be as bad as you are thinking. 

On my last Colonoscopy, I was watching it on the big flat screen monitor, there was a polyp.  On screen it was huge.  My heart nearly stopped!  Talk about panic stations!!

When speaking to the doctor, he said it was just a couple of millimetres and not the size of an orange, like it showed on-screen.

The lady doing your scan could have been having a bad day, lots of reasons for a somber face.

It might not have even been your scan!  I know there's no bright side, but if there was, at least they have found something.  That's better than missing something in a scan.

My face is naturally miserable.  I have to stand on my head to smile.

Stop thinking the worst.  I know it's hard.  I always had a 'fear of the unknown', it still gets me now.

Try not to think too many about what you saw until you see the doctor with the results of your scan.  I'd also mention what you saw!

Take care of yourself and your children.

Hi Odette, I echo what Steve said below …. My hubby went for an MRI post treatment, had a long chat with the radiologists before the scan who were chatty and smiling and was then panic stricken when they seemed to be overly concerned about the scan results they were reviewing. He spent the next 6 weeks convinced they’d seen something dreadful.

When we had our follow up appointment with the ENT DR he was perfectly happy with the scan results and said everything looked great. The radiologists were obviously just concentrating…. Good luck hon and try not to worry, easier said than done I know

Hugs Debbie

Morning Odette.

Well my rambling worked...on me! I slept solidly for hours after, but glad you got some zeds in too.

Great posts from Steve and Deb and they must have given you a boost, so easy does it my lovely and have the best day you can with your little ones.

We've got exercise class this morning (these Fridays whip round!) so I'll crack on and send you a few big hugs xxx

Hi Odette

I am lucky in that I don’t have any problems sleeping but I do follow this chat as it has some lovely friendly people contributing and I follow their stories. Please don’t get stressed about what you think you saw on the scan. I am a retired radiographer and I would have trouble reading a scan with just a glimpse you will have not seen anything in context. The radiographer could have had anything on her mind making her look somber. Waiting for scan results is very stressful and you are not alone but once you have the results good or bad you will feel more informed and in control.

Linda xxx

Hi Jann. Were we calling you Jaan before? Anyway, just nipped in to say lucky you, holidaying in Spain, so have the most fabulous time ever!

Now you said you like music, so here's a recommendation - My Heart Will Go On (bad recorder meme). You'll never look back...

Enjoy! xxx

Thanks, Steve! Ive never really had anxiety before, but my word is do now and I can sympathise with people who suffer with it  long term. 

I guess for most my life I have been somewhat in control, however right now I dont have any! 

Got a busy weekend with the family, so that will help. Its mainly at night time, when nad thoughts run through my mind. Too much time to think.

Hope ypur having a good day! :)