Awake and up all night

Thank you. I'm having a bad day after a good start, now sitting listening to howling wind which will peak at 2 am with rain, not knowing if the power will stay on. I don't fancy pulling the generator out of storage and getting it going in the middle of a storm.

I'm scared about the next few weeks, health wise. And I don't think I can handle being away from home for 5 weeks in the middle of winter  living with strangers.

Evening Gill. You can do it. The time will soon go. Sending my best wishes.xxx

Is the 5 weeks away from home a consequence of your next phase of treatment, either living on cream crackers and cheese on a ward or staying with someone once discharged to keep an eye on you for a while? xxx

Hello All

I am aware there are some "issues" being corrected by the IT team early next week. The IT guys are working hard to sort out the various site issue we are having. 

If you have ANY issues at all can you please e-mail them to:

community@macmillan.org.uk

Any that I have read about on this and other groups will be brought up at our meeting on Friday.

Thanks everyone.

Best wishes - Brian.

My slight feeling of being sick has been subdued for the moment by munching through two slices of dry toast and sitting with my anorak on, complete with hood. I'd put it on to check the garage door which blew open an hour ago. Door was fine but it felt so cosy in the anorak I kept it on until a few minutes ago. xxx

No. I have to face surgery first. This is radiotherapy afterwards, when I have to stay in a hospital facility miles away from the actual hospital to be transported every day Monday to Friday for five weeks for the treatment. It's in a place with very little in the way of public transport so even if I can escape at weekends, it will be a long and difficult journey. On my own.

I don't do well in a community setting especially with strangers and HAVE to be at home as much as possible. Being an inpatient for nearly 3 weeks in May literally drove me crazy. I hate this assumption from the hospitals that I have family and friends to help. I don't, and to be honest, I don't want anyone to 'keep an eye on me'. Also, if I don't work, I can't pay the bills, and I will need to run the heating while I am away as well as paying someone to continue to look after the dogs, which I fear I will never see again. I may be bankrupt by January.

Why can't I get this treatment closer to home? Why won't any of the medics talk to me for more than 3 minutes? I don't even know what stage my cancer is at.

Sorry for the tirade, the TV is rubbish, the wind is gathering speed outside so I am lacking a means to calm down.

Evening Gill. Can you do something to distracy yourself that you enjoy? I have had surgery to remove a tumour then 4 weeks of radiotherapy. It is not easy but I am glad I did it  try not to think about the future just one day at a time.xx

I find that the medics are so busy that some don't even sit down to talk to you, then speak at umpteen words per minute reeling off medical terms, their pager goes off and off they scuttle, saying 'any questions? as they rush down the corridor. A helpful nurse then enters, wondering why you are sitting there looking bemused, I explain, he or she makes some checks then announces that I'm free to go. It's like being thrown in a spin drier then tipped out whilst still dizzy from the experience. I can understand your concerns if the Irish system is similar.

Can music help this evening? Leaf through a photograph album perhaps? Talk(text) to us if the site plays ball?  Your house and it's situation is wonderful. No wonder you prefer to stay there in glorious independence while keeping your work clients happy and bills paid. A bit of a juggling act. There must surely be some form of mental support available - Irish Citizens advice equivalent?  Ray xxx   

I totally agree, it’s horrible. The wind is howling. Scary! xx

Evening kez I am frightened of the wind.