Awake and up all night

Oh dear Geoff, you've got it bad today.  Blame it on the weather, like I always do, as it fires my explosive temper something rotten.  And then I calm down.

I wasn't supposed to laugh at the exercise routine but I did.  The way you described it, and my mental image, had me stifling laughter somewhat as OH is trying to watch Tipping Point.

I'm unsure if you think I enjoy a social whirl, but it's far from that.  Apart from my eldest, I've got no actual friends, but she works all week and goes away often so I only see her every couple of weeks and that's time restricted when I do.  All our neighbours are either old or lunatics, and I've got absolutely nothing in common with any of them.  OH's mother lives on the doorstep but support from her is zero and she seems indifferent to her son's plight - enjoying afternoon teas and soirées is her forte. And I can't converse with him; I've had to take up mind reading on a grand scale to get through the day.  We've all got a cross to bear and we don't even live near the coast!

Right, that's my grumbling out of the way, so we should call it a draw and take a point each.  What say you?  I was going to try and cheer you up, but reckon I've depressed you further and any other readers. Crikey.  I'll leave it, as I didn't want to make you angry as you're my friend, but try to think of the good stuff and get your mind away from the niggles.  At least you don't live in London any more...

Hugs xxx

Thank you for your ideas I will try some, I do reschedule things depending on energy levels, as some one who usually never stops from morning to night this is a new experience for me.

Thank you for your reply, but you still sound like a very busy bee.  You're spot on about not having much time or energy but I'm pleased to report I never get bored.  When I do get time, I'm happy to be by myself and switch off for a while...then pick up a book.

Lovely to meet you and take good care.  Hugs to you and yours xxx

Thanks Annette.Fingers crossed that it goes ahead.Had some drama here yesterday afternoon.My next door neighbours shed caught fire and has been totally destroyed.Her gardener turned up and I heard him telling the firemen he lit a bonfire last Tuesday.He has a habit of leaving them smouldering  My friend on the opposite side beat out the flames heading rapidly towards my garden.Luckily no one was hurt but it was a shock.Jane xx

Hi to anyone new here x

I don't even know what the weather is like to be honest. Sometimes I don't look outside until I actually go outside. Not sure if I will go out today or not. At the moment I just feel useless and like there's no point doing anything other than moping at home feeling sorry for myself. It's bank holiday too and my girlfriend she be here! It's yet another missed opportunity to see her.

You can laugh at the exercise thing, it is sorta funny. I just cannot imagine myself in that situation, I'd be making a real fool out of myself. It's great for those who are incapable of doing much else, but that's not me thank goodness, at least for now. It would be taking a backstep for me to put myself in that situation. All the other classes they do there are similar and just not for me. The only pissabolity is the art/photography group, which isn't even mentioned on their website so I'm unsure what really happens there. I don't want to paint like I saw them doing last time, I'm useless at that. I want to do photography, but I don't need to learn it so I don't know what I'd do there. I mentioned to 1 or 2 of them that I'm not artistic and not interested in painting, but they said I should try, I'd enjoy it, stuff like that. NO! I don't want to, I wouldn't enjoy it. I want to meet people and make friends, not sit in a class I'm not interested in. I have enough things I am interested in doing. I felt pressured to do things that I know won't be right for me. I think maybe I'm talking myself out of going this coming Thursday. If I go, I might walk out early if nothing is different. I honestly considered walking out last week when I realised I was the only one under 80 there.

It's sad that your OH's mum lives on the doorstep. Why don't you invite her in? Do you have a very large doorstep maybe? Where does she do her cooking and washing? Is there a loo on your doorstep too? Must be uncomfortable to sleep there, poor lady.

You're not being depressing, you're helping cheer me up Gill. x

Lovely to meet you as well.

The things that I do now do fill up my days, and I also do get a fair amount of reading time done. My spouse works from home 100% from 9-6. We get up at around 6 am so that we can both do non-difficult/work things before then, and then attend to our tasks/work. I do have rest times during my days also, and I have dinner ready by 6 pm.

We play cards after, then watch a few hours of the telly before going to sleep at 10 pm. On fatigue days, I just do the essentials and my daily short journals (I use the Day One app on my Mac Mini and I use templates for my listed entries so that I am not having to enter all of that as well). 

Because I know when I will be having tired times, I will prep alot of food in advance so that meals and snacks are easy peasy. I do those things when I have the most energy. Because also, nutrition is very important to me. 

I should mention that I don't scroll my social media apps, not spend alot of time online, in chats/on apps. This helps me maximize my mental health, time, and energy better. Again, everyone is different. 

Hugs to you and yours as well! 

Thank goodness cos I thought I might have got on your wires.

No, I don't want MiL anywhere near me as my fists bunch when she is!  I reckon Meatloaf based Bat Out of Hell on her and I could rant for an age, but I'll stop myself. Grrrrr.

I'd better get moving - shopping to do and chores and that's it.  Is the thing with your girlfriend still on?  If not, blow her out if she's not giving you support as that's what I've done with quite a few.  We don't need their platitudes that aren't meant and I much prefer my forum friends, as their support is genuine.  I'll be back later and hopefully find you in a better place.  Cheer up lad as I don't want my mates to be sad.

Sending hugs and dare I say it, some positive VIBES, I did that on purpose. xxx

I have a lot with my OH and don't want to lose it. Yet I know I've as good as lost her anyway. It's a really tough one. If I had loads of people around me who were interested then I would probably have reluctantly given up on her by now. There is nobody though, and I can't see there ever will be.

I'm glad to have forum friends like you but I need more, I need local people I can meet, talk to, and maybe more than that with the right person. I can't see that ever happening though, not with me in the state I'm in.

Oi enough of the vibes!  Hugs to you too. x

Hi Geoff,Sorry you are feeling down.It is understandable.I’ve gone from having friends round most days to having no one to talk to and it is depressing.You never know though you may meet younger people through the older ones at St Barnabus.I wish your girlfriend would support you.Jane x