Awake and up all night

Aw thank you Ray  

Aye lad, it can be grim up north sometimes but I reckon that goes for all of us at one time or another, wherever we are in this green and not always pleasant land.

Enough of the waxing lyrical-ish. How are you today my love, and have you got things ready for the new deliveries yet or still in the process? xxx

I'm ok(ish), thanks. I've had a few days of normal colours in my tube and bag but  this afternoon the tube went pink for an hour or so. Trivial really but it dumps my mood in a pit for a while.

Deliveries wise, I'm sitting in  my front room which now looks like a backroom storage area with furniture from the dining room parked wherever it would fit. My daughter and son in law both visit the gym regularly and made light work of shifting the heavy sideboard. The dining room, hallway, stairs and landing are now completely clear ready for Friday's carpet fitting. On Saturday, daughter and SiL will shove furniture back to their usual places, trying not to wreck the new carpets in the process. The front room is being done on 6th July. Gone are the days when I could manhandle a heavy washing machine from my car to the kitchen unaided. Now, a bag of sugar is a challenge. I can't help them. I just smile sweetly, look helpless and feed them with diet Coke and coffee on a self service basis. I'll be glad when it is all done.  xxx 

It won't be long now Ray, and definitely worth the wait. I'm so pleased that you've got fit, willing helpers that you know rather than a motley crew of strangers, as sometimes happens. Plus, your daughter and hubby will be proud as punch that they've got dad's pad sorted - something you wouldn't get from said crew. Think on, it's only two days before the carpets start getting laid now and it'll feel fab!

I'm sorry to hear about the colour change in your bag though - it must be alarming when it happens and no wonder it knocks you off kilter. I guess you'll know when it's time to seek medical help and please do, as we don't want you getting poorly. You're too valuable for that and I can vouch that we're all extremely fond of you hon.

About not being able to shift things like you once could - it's awful. I was always pretty strong but the advancing years are telling me it's almost over, as I struggle to even get lids off jars now. I'm starting to think that it could be a conspiracy aimed at old age though. Don't let the old sods twist lids off, make it super difficult to open packaging that was once a doddle and make double sure that getting a chocolate wrapper open is tantamount to getting into Fort Knox. Result? We'll all starve to death and state pensions will become a thing of the past, which is what tptb want. Or do you think I'm letting my CTer mind go too far?

Well I hope I've not thoroughly depressed you Ray, and you'll eventually settle down to sweet dreams, pet. Hugs anyway xxx

Hi Ray

Sounds a bit like us we haven't long moved house and now we moved stuff to get a bed downstairs as they aren't helping with a hospital bed. 

Hope you have a better day with the bag. Getting some weird colours with hubby like green stuff coming up which doc didn't seem worried about in the hospital but it was just one day it happened. 

Hope all goes well with carpets x

Hi Dingg  

That's a real shame about not getting a hospital bed. Are you managing ok with hubby in the toilet department hon? Hope so sweetheart xxx

Gill 

Any advice, hubby seems to be deteriorating he cant climb the stairs, cant go to the loo unaided or tidy himself up alone. We are going to hospital Thursday for distended stomach to be drained. He's making moaning noises and says he doesnt know why and asking for me to turn off the feeding line when its just a few hours in. His breathing can be heavy then quiet too l told them this week at the hospital and that he can't feel his feet properly. 

There's no real help from district nurse she called said she knew nothing about feeding tubes and promptly left. Consultant arrived this week 10 mins after l left 11am to pick my son up the nurses said he'd be there 2pm . He wants to give us an appointment where we cant park he doesnt seem to realise hubby's in a wheelchair now its very difficult. Thursday is just a day ward and they keep discharging him with a leaking side, we have a camp bed as no sign of hospital bed

Who should l ask for help from. Maybe GP. I'm also worried where this is going with this rapid deteriorating 

Didn't see this just now Gill replied below x

Thanks for this Gill. Also hubby's family live a fair distance and haven't seen him for a few weeks and I'm having trouble explaining or getting them to accept hes deteriorating 

Sweetheart, if things are going downhill you really should call for help now. I can't force you to do it but I would definitely call 111 or 999 as things could escalate. Please think about it love xxx

Thanks Gill

Finances are a worry as l have been having trouble getting a paid job for years and am applying for loads of jobs now but now hubby's care is getting heavy l can barely leave the house or am trying to grab a kip.

The trouble is GP thinks its a matter of weeks consultant has said nothing and cancer nurse just said work it out your an intelligent woman and now never returns my calls

Dingg it's all getting too much for you lovely. I strongly advise you to call an ambulance and get him into A&E so he can be seen by doctors. You can't do this alone, it's impossible and you need urgent help for hubby xxx