Newly diagnosed

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Hello, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Im 35 with 2

preschool age children and no idea how on earth we are meant to navigate this. I am about to have surgery and then chemo, it’s even more bizarre because I feel so well and normal! Not sure what I’m looking for here, just anyone else in the same position and how you got through it with such young kids? X 

  • Hi Mac19, i am sorry for your diagnosis i came on as i can see no one has had a chat yet. Its seems like the worse time ever i know, and everything is just horrible. My child was older than yours when i was first diagnosed with cancer 20 years ago, but it can seem like a juggling act to start with, but its amazing how people rush to help. I remember going in for my first mastectomy and feeling really well and thinking why am i doing this, but its kept me alive up till now. I have spoken to many women in your situation and with such young children and it brakes my heart, but do you know what they have all found a way to manage and so will you. Just for now try to concentrate on your health and getting better. Except any help offered because chemo takes it out of you. I wish you all the best in your treatment plan Dawn x

    • Hello Mac19, im so sorry you are going though this. I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago and i am waiting for surgery dates. I'm 42 with three boys, two older ones but one who is 8 and a grandaughter. It's not easy especially all you can think about is them, how am I going to cope with everything like taking them to school, uniform, homework , play dates and just keeping everything as normal as can be, whilst on the inside you are struggling to come to terms with what's going to happen. I also feel ok, just more tired than normal. I have spoken to my little one and explained that Mommy is going to have an operation and be abit poorly for a while. He has been fine so far and I've even spoken to the school and they said they will look out for him and not to worry to much about school work. I do know what your going through and if you ever need to chat, im here for you xxx 
  • Hello, so sorry about your diagnosis. Although my kids are older than yours I can certainly relate, it really is a worrying time. There is a book called “mummy’s lump” that has been mentioned in previous posts that might be helpful (not sure which age group it is aimed at though) but worth checking out.

    It’s still early days for me too but Feel free to have a look at my profile where I have shared my experiences so far. Best wishes.

  • Hi, I totally get that feeling of I feel so well so it’s so surreal to be told you have cancer! I am 53 and my children are older, but still it blew my mind when I felt so well. I had surgery, then radiotherapy and I’m back at work. That whole first finding out, having biopsies, knowing what type of cancer it is, almost feels like you have a second job! It’s a rollercoaster, and trying to do those day to day things almost feels mad. But you do it, because you know you will be fine at end of treatment. Stay positive, strong and healthy, and don’t beat yourself up on the days that you struggle. Remember by definition we are human beings not human doings , and so it’s ok just to “be “ 

    Peace and Love 

  • Thank you so much for your message xx

  • Thank you so much for your message. I have also just told my 4 year old that i am poorly and need an operation, it’s the absolute worst isn’t it?’ I really hope you get a surgery date very soon and treatment plan is on place. Hope you are hanging in there xxx

  • Thank you so much for your message, my macmillan nurse has given me a copy of mummy’s lump, have only just been able to bring myself to read it but it’s really helped with telling my 4 year old. 
    I really hope all is going well with your treatment so far xxx

  • Thankyou so much for you message, Wishing you all the very best wishes for your recovery. You are right about the second job, feel like I’m living at the hospital at the mo! Am doing everything i can to stay positive, even when it’s hard xxx

  • Hi, I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My daughter was 11, now 12 so was able to understand a bit better - but it’s been tough for her. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is with little ones who are still so active.

    A book is a lovely idea, there is also another I’ve heard of that is lovely that was written by a lady diagnosed who had children of your age called ‘I wish mummy could…’ 

    It’s a tough time but our precious little ones mean sometimes we push on to make it easier for them and at times I’ve found that makes it a little easier for me. I had chemo today, came home made a stir fry with my daughter so we could eat together and watched a bit of tv. It’s not always that easy but sometimes it can be.

    Take care and keep talking xxx

    Take care x

  • Thank you so much for your message. I hope you are doing ok and treatment is going well. Its so heartening to hear of a bit of normality during treatment-being able to come home and cook with your daughter.

    My sons are 1 and 4 so very little, it’s the worst part of all of this as they still need me for so much but I guess at least they can’t really understand what’s happening xxx