My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Former Member
Former Member
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Hi, friends

    Oh, how i hate this weather! We've had a bit of snow today, but  a lot more forecast for tonight. school might be shut tomorrow - some hopes.

    My dog is in the wars - just for a change. she's been skidding on the ice, and rippped the pads off her elbows. She had heavy bandages on all weekend, and one of those lampshade collars. the bandages were removed yesterday, but the collar stays on. unfortunately, she has to keep the pads dry, so each time she goes outside (even into the garden)  we have to tie plastic bags on her front paws. she looks so ridiculous that we have been falling about laughing at her - whoever would have thought that a labrador could get so upset at being laughed at!  She's been having a major strop ever since.

    Snowing slightly now - wish it would do one thing or another!

    Lynne, glad the abcess is improving.

    Bug higs to all you marooned penguins.

    sue xx

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Sue we need real photos of the doggy with plastic bags please , need a laught xxxx

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    will do my best, Lynne!

    Ailsa - thinking of you for tomorrow.

    Sue xx

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Thank you Sue xx

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Ailsa, ((((((((hugs andspecial thoughts for you)))))))))))))) for tomorrow, happy memories x x x

    Love and angel hugs to you all x x x

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Wow, you guys are getting our Canadian winter.  We have a very little amount of snow here but very very cold weather.  Too cold to walk the dog very far.  I am back to work as of yesterday, very busy with the new term starting and that is good.  I am tired today but didn't sleep well last night.  Just one of those nights.  I have a girl coming to walk Max every afternoon so I don't have to worry about rushing home to let him out now and that is great for me (and him).  So I am slowly getting back into a kind of routine, a new one for sure.  I did a little simple cooking on the weekend, that was the first time since September that I have cooked.  So little steps.  I think I am finally letting it sink in that Danny is not coming back, my head knew it but my heart was not ready to accept it. 

    Hope you all manage to dig yourselves out or stay in and keep cozy.  take care

    Bren

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    No school today woop woop!

    Oh joy, i can do the ironing.

    Several inches of snow fell last night, and is still falling. Roads like skating rinks, so school is closed. Shame!!!!!!

    Stay huddled

    sue xx

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    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Yesterday my computer/broadband just froze ........ do you think literally????  It was horrible.  So I am typing as quickly as possible incase I woke it too early and it decides it is too cold to work today! 

    Ailsa hun, snuggles to you.  I am now lost as to who is able to get work, and who is at home waiting for me to bring my ironing round (Sue).  Lynne, I take my hat off to you for doing any job that requires being on the road any more than absolutely neccesary.  Sue, Joey is most upset at the idea of people laughing at the misfortune that has befallen your doggie, and says that he has had to wear some very odd things in his life and sends a special woof!.  He says that we 'hoomans' can be very odd indeed! 

    Do we know if Manda and Hayley got away to Disney? I have step-daughter No 2 still here until tomorrow, then back to Dubai (should have been away a few days ago but a lost passport put paid to that!) she has now been joined by her boyfriend.  I had forgotten quite how many towels 'youngsters' could leave on the floor etc. - and how visually impaired they can be ......... well they don't seem to able to see dirty dishes or empty crisp packets etc!!

    Am off to walk to my bosses house to do some work - no driving for me Lynne!  Will wrap a cosy blanket round PC before I go to see if I can stop it freezing and will be back later.

    Love to everyone, Judi xx

     

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    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Morning all , first of all a big hug to Ailsa (((((((((HUG ))))))))))) hope your ok hun and manage to get to the cemmy , we've had no snow over night so the main roads look pretty clear , so we'll see what happens today . Yes Judi it isn't much fun but as 4/5 of us went on each vehicle we managed to have some fun to , the patients love it , all that attention lol . Sue and Helen enjoy your extended holiday , i want to see snow men pictures later or you'll be in detention . I should have been going out with my sisters tonight for my birthday but the weather has stopped that , not worth it really also my dad went in hospital for a little op to do some corrective surgery on his mouth (his radio therapy madi droop quite a lot and to put it bluntly he dribbles and he hates it ) so they we're trying to correct it but its turned out to be a bigger op than they thought , we thought he would be out today but they having to put a feed tube in again and give him fluids . We didn't want him to have more surgery we think he's been through enough but he wanted it , at 81 he's amazing . I've tried not to mention it because i thought he would be in and out but now it could be a long job . At least he's in the hospital i work from so i can go and check on him all the time . Hugs to everybody else , stay safe in the snow speak later xxxxx

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to Former Member

    Morning everyone xxx

    Ailsa, hope today is ok for you all. Happy Birthday Chris xxx

    Lynne hope your dad makes a quick recovery xxx

    I ll have to do the detention lol, not going out today. Made my snowmen last week!!

    No more snow over night here, sun  is out so hopefully won`t be too bad.

    Well I really need to get up, still in bed with a coffee and on laptop. Heaven!!! lol xx

    Keep warm everyone, speak later

    Helen xxx