My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Wecome back Claire.. Hope all is well. It is nice to have something to look forward to, so get on that diet... size zero?.... lots of luv kaz xx

Size zero, I wish! I am going for 12/14! Am 2 days in and have so far managed to keep away from the crisps!!

Cx

Hi - I am new to this site and lost my precious husband to lung cancer on 6 August. Although he had been ill (had various cancers for 6 years and survived) his death was so sudden I wasn't ready for it. I can only say that thank God for the Macmillans who have helped to keep me sane. We would have been married for 48 years in December, and had been together since I was 18 - 50 years ago. What is there after a lifetime. I still work and have found solace in friends, but I still leave the house in the morning and call out "goodbye" to him. Why do I expect a reply! My family have been wonderful, but at the end of the day you shut the front door and there is no one to talk to, to cook for, to laugh with. I know that I must go on and I intend to try to be strong for him. He endured so much without complaint it is up to me to make him proud.

Hello and welcome. I am sorry did not reply sooner hope your still on here.. Its a bit quiet today as all the brave lot have gone back to work.. I am really sorry to hear about your husband, it is still early days. But I promise you will find lots and lots of support with this crowd.. I honestly dont know how I would have got through the last months wihout them,,, We have ups and downs, tears and laughter and an enormous amounts of chocolate gets eaten.!!!!!!
Please stay with us and meet the lovely ladies oh and one man Kev... you are very welcome...lots of love kaz xxxx

Welcome I am also a newie but everyone has made me feel very welcome it is a great place to get support or just to get things off your chest. Like you my partner had been suffering a long time (nearlly 14 years) but it was so sudden in the end he was talking fine one day and woke up the next day unable to communicate and died 10 days later. I struggle so much to cope with not really being able to have said a proper goodbye to him or to discuss his last wishes he had always been so positive that he would never discuss the fact that he might die. I am lucky to have my two children to help keep me going as i know how lonely and quiet it is when they are not around. You sound like a very strong lady who has a fantastically supportive family and group of friends, so just take things slowly and take each day one at a time.
Have had a busy day so far been helping dad in his garden this morning followed by a session in the gym feel absolutely shattered now, hoping it will help me sleep better tonight.
Debs x

Evening all and welcome to the newbies , and hi to Claire i dont think we've met before , the best thing i ever did was join this thread , i woildn't be where i am now in this crappy 10 week journey if it wasn't for the support i've recieved on here . I might need a bit now ladies , most of you know how Gordons ex tried to claim a small pension of his and recently it was awarded to me , well i dont want to say to much publicly but one of his daughters had a bit of a go at me last night , i was gutted , we've always got on so well , but she has been with her mother on holiday so i think there her words . My kids are devastated as they love her so much but they love me too . I want to call her back and have my say but ive decided to let it go , He would not want this happening so i have to rise above it . I'veconsulted them in everthing i've done but i feel its all been thrown back at me . I text her as normal today and she answered as normal but i dont think thingas will ever be the same again , i'm heart broken .. Thanks for listening ladies ..

Lynnexxxxxxxxx

dear Lynne
so sorry to hear that things have gone a bit pear shaped. As you say , she has been with her mum for a week and no doubt getting her ear bent. I imagine that her loyalties are being stretched in every direction. I have 2 grownup stepchildren myself, so I do understand where you are coming from. Your step daughter will, like you, be still feeling very fragile, and as we all know only too well,it's when we are at our most vulnerable that we can say things that perhaps we don't entirely mean, but pressure fom other sources (in this case her mum) make us blurt things out because we can only take so much. does that make any sense? What I'm saying, lynne, is that you and your own children have obviously developed a brilliant relationship with Gordon's children and it would be such a shame to ruin it over this.
So, hang on in there, girl - for Gordon's sake, as well as your own.
I hope I'm not speaking out of turn!
sue x

Well done Lynne for not saying anything she has probably been wound up by her mother whilst on holiday and is probably just saying it cause her mum has been given her an ear bashing...
As an out sider I think just calm the situation down and tell everyone to chill . She will come back to you, I am sure she realises what she has done....Be careful handled wrong and this could cause a split, just what her mum is trying to do rise above it..

Your bigger than this, do something to take your mind off it....chocolate is good !!!!!!!
lots of love Kaz xxxx

Oh Lynne, I am so sorry you have had a fight with your step daughter. You have enough on your plate without having to deal with this and the ex. Maybe she was just having a bad day and took it out on you? I am sure from your other posts that she loves you very much. I can understand why you would be so upset though.

Welcome to Beagreat. Sorry you have to find us but as everyone has said this is a great place for support and to let off steam if you are having a hard day.

Good for you Debs on the car and phoning your work. I won't pretend its easy but after a few weeks it gets easier and it has helped me. I like to keep myself busy until I am shattered too and then you know you will sleep.

Claire - congratulations on the wedding news! I love weddings (or did!).

Hello to everyone else. I had a busy day at work with all the weird clients coming out of the woodwork. Gave me a laugh though. Had one lovely client in who I was kind of dreading seeing as he lost his partner a year ago to cancer (and I didn't want to cry at work as I have quite a professional job) but it was actually really good to talk to someone who knew exactly what I was going through (a bit like this forum but in real life). Thats the kind of counselling that should be set organised. He was telling me a lovely but bizarre story where his grandad died when he was a mad teenager and he went off travelling and while in the US (after reading after african tribal traditions) he had a letter cut into his chest with a scalpel and his grandads ashes poured into the wound. It then heals with a raised scar in the letter of his grandad's name. It actually looked quite cool but what a bizarre thing to do! I think a tattoo is the extent of the my pain threshold lol!

Take care everyone

Gayle xx

Look Sue I just said that!!!! spooky eh
kaz x