My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

my name is christine and I lost my wonderful partner of 27years,Tig. He died on 28th May this year from leukaemia. This was the 3rd time he had the disease. It started in 2001. He had 4 lots of chemo and went into remission for 6 years. he was actually told by his consultant that he was cured! But it come back again in 2007. he had more chemo and a stem cell transplant. He was in remission for 1 year then it came back again in january this year. He had more chemo, but to no avail. InMay he was told he had 3 months to live maximum. Infact he only lived for aweek. He went through so much with all the treatment and in the end it was all for nothing. Why do these things happen to good people? Life is so unfair! I am absolutely devastated and cant stop crying. He was my life.

Hi Christine,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on 21st June (father's day) after a 4 year battle with cancer. I know what you mean about the anger and the "why us" feeling as I feel that too. My husband was a good man and I know it is a cliche but he lived for his family. When I see other men / families then I too wonder why the good ones are taken but there is no point in thinking like that (for me I mean). This board will offer you good support as we are all unfortunatley in the same boat with the same feelings. Please post on here even if it is just to have a moan and it may help a little.

Take care

Gayle xx

Hello everyone, hi Christine so sorry to hear about your loss. We will give you support on here when ever you need it, please take care.

Kev xx

dear helen
I know you won't get this message yet but just to say I'm thinking of you and hoping all is well.
sue x

thankyou Gayle and Kev for replying. When you go through something as awful as someone you love dying, you tend to think nearly everyone else is happy except you! this obviously isn`t true and reading other people`s stories of their grief and feelings make you feel less isolated. Best wishes to you both, christine x

Hallo Fiona, I was so sorry to read what you have been through. Its incredible how many people have suffered and are suffering from this dreadful disease. I think about Tig all the time and keep expecting him to walk through the door with a big smile on his face, but of course he won`t. how long does it take to come to terms with this? I don`believe I ever will. x

Dear Lynne
just checking that you're ok - haven't heard from you for a couple of days.
Sue x

Hello everyone, hope you are doing okish, Fiona, Brad is at my dads for a week and keeping my dad alert!!!

Kev xx

Hi Sue , yes i'm ok , thats so nice of you to be concerned , was a bit down last night and couldn't think of anything consructive to say at all , but i'm ok ish today . Had a manic day at work , they asked if i could crew up and do a long run which i did , and we called for chips on the way home so that was quite nice . I,ve justy been to the church yard on my way home and a few graves down form my husband they have bured a young women who was murdered a few weeks ago , it was so upsetting to see all the flowers and the cards ,as she had 2 young sons . I've got my meeting with the doc next wed so i'm looking forward (is that the word) to that , i'm going to start writing questions down now , so i'm fully prepared but there's only one really and that is "could i have done anything else " I know what everybody te;ls me but it still goes round in my head "what if " .Anyway hope everybody is ok , sorry i've not replied to Christine yet but i will when i've had a cuppa . speak later xxxxxxxx