My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa
Hi, Ailsa
love the picture! It's been like that here all day; am totally fed up with it! Alice was home for about an hour after playscheme, and has been out with her friend for a meal, just getting home a few minutes ago. There's only so much conversation you can have with a dog!!A bit of retail therapy tomorrow, perhaps...................
the counselling sounds a good idea to me; it just might help you to come to terms a bit with the issues surrounding Chris's last days. Some people have said that hypnotherapy has helped them; might be worth a thought.
shame you couldn't get to Diggerland with Declan; it looks as though Friday might be the best day of the week. I've bought a trough and some plants which i want to put together for Alan's special place, but it was too horrible to do it today.
hope you get some sleep tonight
sweet dreams
sue x
Hi Gayle lovely to meet you..and hello the rest of the team xxx
sleep tight!
