My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hugs to everyone. Rosemary, sorry you are having to move Beckam to a different stables. It is not good having to say goodbye is it?

Sue, I hope there were not too many tears today. It must have been a very emotional day for you.

Judi, congratulations on your new purchase. It will be lovely for you in the months to come, putting your own stamp on the place.

Dot I hope you and Alan are doing ok and enjoying the good days as best you can.

Well done with the iphone Fiona. I doubt I would be that clever lol. Took me forever to get the hang of the laptop.

I hope you all have a good weekend (or the best one you can have).

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around but my friend was staying with me for a few days this week as he was back from offshore.  I got my present and it was a beautiful necklace.  We had a lovely few days but I hit a big slump yesterday when he left.  I feel a little bit better today but ended up just shutting myself in my bed last night (my usual way of dealing with difficult situations lol).  Wully always joked that I was an ostrich and would go and bury my head.  I am sure it will all come right in the end.  What will be will be as they say! 

I have amended the London/Scottish meets on FB to add the locations and hotels and noticed that some of you have booked your hotels already which is great.  Looking forward to them.

Lynne, good news that your Dad is now seeing some progress with the hospital.  Sue, sending you hugs after your emotional day, Ailsa, so good to hear you are going out socialising this weekend - exactly what you need to get you away from your building work too.  Helen, hope you have a lovely time in Wolverhampton and I am sure it will be fine.  Judi, fantastic news on the flat/house and can't wait to get my invite :-)  I hope everyone else is well and sending you all penguin hugs.

I had Wully's best friend and wife visiting tonight for a bit to see me and the boys which they loved and it was good to catch up with them as I haven't seen them since October last year for one reason or another.  Tomorrow I am spending the day with the boys and we are going out for dinner and then off out at night to see a car stunt show so they are very excited.  We went before 2 years ago with Wully so not sure how I will be but I hope their excitement and enjoyment will rub off and I won't dwell on old times too much.

Take care everyone and have a nice weekend.

Gayle xxx

Hi everyone

Sue and Rosemary, well done on getting through your days.  Sue how lovely to have your house so full of blooms to remind you of how every special you are and how all your little ones love you.  Now just you make sure you enjoye the summer break, you deserve it.   Rosemary, It sounds as if Beckham knew that it was the right new house for him too - do you think he and I are related???

Helen - I will not chastise you even once for being on holiday AGAIN so soon, as when you get the new job I think I will miss you neigh on weekly posts "on holiday for a week" lol.  Enjoy your weekend darling - and his friends will LOVE you, of course they will. 

Ailsa, so glad that you are going to see the band, well done - cos for you that is a very specific evening out and I think it's great that you are going with friends.  I have had a word with the Play School people and the round window will be with you soon .. teehee.

HAve just had a flying (and I mean that almost literally) visit from SD No 2.  She has been working in Beruit and instead of flying straight back to Dubai (quite a short journey in comparison) she has flown via Aberdeen to see her new neice Izzy and pop in to say hello - arrived last night at 10pm and on her way tomorrow night!! 

Lynne - keep up that jogging, I am sure that you nearly caught up with me the other night.  I would have slowed down and waited for you but I have a very strict training time table and every second counts !! LOL.

Just off to see if I can find even an empty ice cream container to pur my Baileys in .... that is what you and Rosemary were suggesting - wasn't it Dot??

Much love to all

Judi xx

Hi Everyone Hope you are all ok tonight. I just done a post and I have lost it so maybe I am not so clever with iPhone. I am working tomorrow then weather permitting Kim and me going to go to Dumfries at night to the Relay of Life. It is a race that lasts 24hrs to raise money for cancer research and you can get a candle in a bag and you write a message on the bag in memory of someone you have lost and you just give a donation to cancer research. Then they light them all at eleven tomorrow night, will think of all you lovely penguins when I am there. Sending you all big hugs. Fiona x x x

Thank you Fiona, will think of you at 11 tomorrow too.  Have sent you a PM.  J x

Morning all , well i'm actually wrestling with myself at the moment , yes thats defo a Lynne thing . When i decided to sell the house i did it because i decided i didn't want to spend all my time just maintaining a house , spending money on it and mainly using time up where i would rather be doing other things . So where do i find my self now , coming in from work and painting , staying in today to get more painting done and all i can see is everynight next week coming in from work and painting or wall wapering . I was going to get someone in to do it but i decided in my ultimate wisdom that it would be great if i could do it all my self . Well now i've started i'm fed up already . Its not that i want to be sat round doing nothing i've just got lots of other things to do too to get this progect finished and i'm not very patient lol . I think the reason i'm feeling like this is , i couldn't move the fridge freezer last night and it made me feel so helpless and alone . I didn't want to call the lads as they do so much for me . I did move it in the end but it took a lot longer than it should have done and i think maybe my back is suffering because of it . Anyway i've had my moan , i'm going to get my brushes out and get on with it . The one thing it has made me decide is , i am not tackleing the living room on my own , i will get some one in .

Gayle thanks for organising the 2 meets and sorting the hotels , i'll be counting the days now , cant wait . Glad you had a good few days and your weekend sounds great have fun xx

 Helen you'll be fine hun , i'm sure you'll have a great time and so close to your holls now , when will you hear about your job ? xx

Fiona i am impreassed with you hun , even if you lost one post , i've had my "smart " phone for a few weeks now and i still want to throw it through the window whilst i'm texting , i can get on face book and e mail but i cant accsess this site to answer posts . Hope your dad is still ok xx.

Judi you keep looking behind you hun cos one day you'll turn round and i'll be there lol . When are you expecting to move Judes xx

 Sue your last day must have been so emotional hun and it shows what a lovely special person you are that the parents gave so much . Have you got any plans at all Sue or are you just going to enjoy some time off to think things through xx

Patricia  how are you doing now , do you think you will make any of the meets ? I hope you've got the dates now hun xx

 Rosemary i think i need some of your special baileys mmm and i hope your ok after your move yesterday xx

Dottee hugs to you and Alan , amd i'm glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel for your work in the house xx

Ailsa have a good evening , i love live music as i'm sure with Chris being a singer you do to . Gordon used to take me to all the live gigs we could get to when he was well and i do miss them . They have a live band on every sat at a club  about 2oo yards from where i live but i've only been in a couple of times since Gordon died , usually when the girls have been here xx

 Love and hugs to all and i'm going to take some frustration out on the kitchen and i will be jogging later , i'm trying to go every other day xxx

Take care

 Lynne xxx

Morning everyone

Gayle your necklace sounds gorgeous, I hope you enjoy your day with the boys. Sounds fun and I m sure the boys will get you through it in their funny ways lol xx

Fiona thinking of you at 11pm tomorrow too!! Hope the day goes well xx

Dot hope you and Alan have a relaxing weekend xx

Sue thinking of you today, try and enjoy some `you` time xxx

Judi and Lynne not sure when I hear about job. They said to get form in a.s.a.p and interviews would be in next couple of weeks. Might not even get an interview so dont hold your breath lol!!

Lynne hope you feel more settled when you ve got kitchen done, get someone in to do the front room like you said. I am waiting for my decorator friend to come home from hols and have decided to get him in to do a few bits. But I know what you mean about trying to do certain things on your own!! I had tears moving furniture round the other week, struggled and hurt my back but have to do it dont we lol!! So frustrating and sad at times though x

My hotel is booked for London, Ailsa think you re going on the Sat too. Perhaps we could arrange to get into Euston at similar time??

Patricia hope you re ok this weekend xx Any plans?

Lesley looks like she has a busy weekend planned, Manda when s our next Manchester meet!! Hope you and H are ok xx

Bug higs to everyone else, have a good weekend xxx Catch up when I m back from sunny Wolverhampton hee hee

Helen xxx

Hi there

 My husband Roger died November last. it will be 8 months next week,  we were married 39 years , he is the love of my life  at first i just carried on but now  i seem to be criyng a lot (in private)

I feel guilty, angry, i havent a good word to say about anything, i sometimes dont feel like getting up in the morning,

Ive been on holiday, carried on as normal , but now i feel like i have lost the will to live, When does it get better?

Rosiemay

Hi Rosiemay

So sorry that you are in the same (sometimes leaky) boat as us all, but please do stay with us.  I am sure that all of us would say that had it not been for the lifeline that is this post we would be in a far worse state than we are.

I also think that most of us can really relate to how you are feeling.  It iwll be two years in October since Ed died and I still fell 'in limbo' most of the time.  Functioning yes, but wondering why a lot of the time.  However, and it is BIG however, I have to be honest and say that although I do still have days that sound exactly as you have described it, I also have days where I find a real and genuine smile on my face and feel actual enjoyment about something that has happened around me.  No, it is not the same type of contentment or joy that I used to have (who knew how amazing that was until it was gone!) but it is happiness all the same.  

So please hang on in there with us.  All at different stages - all, at one stage or another, in awe of the strength that the others seem to have we we are at our lowest - all, without exception, stunned at how low we can suddenly plunge again with no logical reason or warning, but all pulling together and sincerely understanding that there are no rules to this.  Just, as Helen would say, try to keep swimming.

Lots of love - Judi

Hi Rosiemay

So sorry you are here like us but so glad you have found us x Like Judi said this thread has been what has helped me and us all so much since my lovely hubbie died in May 2009 and all the other lovely ladies and men on here who have lost their loved ones. We have all shared our ups (yes there are ups at times becoming more frequent) and very low downs. We help each other and more importantly understand each other. No rules, no time scales, just whatever works for each of us.

My very best friend tells me to `just keep swimming` from the film Nemo! and it is a good motto to live by. I have said it so many times but it is a good way of describing what we all need to do........just keep swimming!!!!

Please keep reading and posting if you re up to it

Sending you big hugs

Helen xxx