My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    9_thinking_of_you_003a0293838bd.gif image by revmyspace2
    Dear Lynne, Thinking of you and sending you loads of love and (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
    Quill xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Dear Lynn

    Thinking of you today I wish you well on  Saturday raise loads of money love

    Wish i could be there

    love to you all xxx

    love janice xxxx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne, sending lots of international hugs (((((((((())))))))))) and strenght foro you today,

    Judi congratulations, enjoy that new little girl

    love Bren

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne - just a few more (((((bug higs))))) for today.  Good luck with the stand and more good luck for Saturday.  We are all behind you and you are doing a wonderful thing.  Ailsa xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hello everyone,

    Lynne, thinking of you all day today.  Had a few tears for you this morning thinking of the pain you will be going through and wishing I could do more.  Im probably feeling for you what you were feeling for me last week.  Im really looking forward to seeing you and all the penguins tomorrow.

    Im having a bit of a skive today.  Went and got my nails done this morning for the weekend and then got another tattoo (my last!!!).  The boys are at nursery and summer camp so I am heading off for a wee nap before I pick them up and the madness starts.  Think it must be the heat but they are driving me nuts at the moment lol.

    Anyway, my bed is calling.  Catch you all later.

    Gayle xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hugs for Lynne and anyone else who needs them . Congratulations to Judi on her new grandchild.  I went b to work yesterday which was ok as I only had to read 700 emails today I was allowed to answer the phone (I think they have forgotten I have been there for 10 years). Working for only 2 hrs daily this week increasing over the next 5 weeks until I resume full time. Feeling really down I don't think anything else can come my way this year my son-in-law has just walked out on my daughter telling her he loves her but does not want to live with her or upset her!!!.  So now Jonathan  up I am not allowed to see my grandson he can.t see his son because his partner's lawyer said her mother will be there every time he goes. She has already assualted him for taking his stuff out of the house so he won't go while she is there. his partner called the police because he was visiting his son and she did not want him to (but she let him in), the police were extremely unhappy at her wasting police time as she told the he had not done anything but would not leave when he produced his lawyers letter saying he should be there they were not happy with her. Sorry for the rant but I am not coping very well with the latest episode of Claire's hubby walking out.

    Teri

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I'm compltely over welmed with all the love and support i have recieved today , your hugs and love have kept me afloat . I had a rough morning and i couldn't stop the ters evertime i saw some one who wanted to give me a hug . By lunch time when i had arranged to do the display and collecting i didn;t think o could face it but in set it up and my crew mate took over bless her , i'm not sure how much money i took as its in a sealed tin but every little helps .. Just a few more hours and hopefully i will feel the calmness that others have felt . My son is bringing the  beth and Aiden down later so that will put a smile on my face . Thank you all again xxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Dear Lynne

    We are only doing what you do so well for us..........giving love and support to one of our number that needs it most.  If you still feel wobbly then waddle into the middle of our huddle and we will hold you tight till it passes.............

    Love and comforting ((((((hugs))))))

    Dot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Well done Lynne, you should be so proud of yourself xxxx and god bless your crew mate xxx Looking forward to giving you a real hug on Saturday xxx

    Judi, lovely news!!!!! A pink one lol xxxx

    I m just ironing and packing to be organised for the weekend!! Nat has got her prom tomorrow so going for cocktails  and photos then straight on for a meal with my friends as one of the group is home from Australia. Staying over there then coming home to catch train to Chesterfield on Saturday morning!!!

    So will send big hugs to everyone and hope you all have a great weekend as probably wont be on again now until after the mad weekend lol!!

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Judi can't remember if I already said it but congratulations on the new arrival.

    Lynne, love and hugs for you today. I hope  you have got through it without too many scars.

    Helen, have fun.

    Teri, so sorry your family is having so many problems. Each problem is difficult in its own right but taken all together they must seem insurmountable. Climb into the centre of the huddle for a while until you feel a little better.

    I hope that everyone else is feeling a little better these days but expect that things are quite difficult for most with the nicer weather and seeing people going places as couples. I know that had Ray still been here and been well we would have been out and about as he liked to go walking and see different places. I used to moan about it but right now I would give my right arm to have the good times back.

    Anyway, have a good day tomorrow.

    Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x