My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

evening, everyone

Sarah  I don't think I've welcomed you properly yet - so sorry, my head has been all over the place with first-year anniversary, redundancy etc .

So :

I hope that you will find the same support from us as we have found from each other - keep on posting.

have a good week everyone - lynne it sounds as though your event is taking off well.  Our RFL team have raised just over £700 for cancer relief  - we're thrilled to bits. thanks to all my friends on here who sponsored  us.

Sports day tomorrow - please spare a thought for poor old me with a class of 26   3-year-olds, trying to organise races in this heat! Oh, joy - wine needs to be chilling for tomorrow evening, methinks!

Sue xxx

Lynne, what a good idea. You are one very brave and resourceful lady. You may not feel it but you really are. You will likely have some teary moments but think of all the good you are doing and how proud Gordon would be. Thanks for the lovely chat we had. You always sound os bubbly even though like the rest of us you are hurting.

Gayle, (((hugs)))) to you. I am glad you are feeling calmer. I hope that you are being kind to yourself. Still early days you know and you are allowed to have meltdowns. I had a major one myself this weekend but hey ho. Anyway, such a vibrant young lady as you must be finding life difficult especially with the boys to consider. Or maybe they are your saving grace. I know that for me my young great-niece was my little saviour.  You are always so busy doing things that you have us all worried. I do hope that things start to ease up a little for you workwise and you can take a little 'me' time.

Lynne, Fiona, I hope your dads are doing a little better.

Sue, are you ok? Not hearing too much at the moment.

Anyway, sending big hugs to all you Penguins whether you are havi9nbg good days or bad. We all need a hug now and then.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Oops missed your posts Lesley and Sue.

Don't wear yourself out Lesley. x x

Sue, hope sports day goes well x x

Love and angelhugs x x x Patricia x x x

Evening everyone.  Patricia I hope you are okay after the weekend - it sounds like it was a tough one.

Gayle you sound a little more cheerful.  Good luck with the car tomorrow.  Sue well done raising so much in your RFL.  I am still collecting my sponsor money but I am hoping we reach £450 - £500 so didn't we all do well?  I will definately spare you a thought tomorrow for your sports day - you are a braver lady than me.

Lynne I will text you so that you have my number after I post this.  That is a very good idea of yours to raise extra money on the anniversary itself.

I had a trip to the bank today but it took so long that my parking ticket was about to run out so we had to make another appointment for Friday!  I could do without having to go back really as I have a lot on.  I don't have much patience with banks these days.  I am looking forward to seeing some of you folks on Saturday and more of you next Saturday.  Busy, busy!  Have a good evening everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Good luck Gayle tommorow , i know your still angry hun , i'll pm you . I cant wait to see the new car , not long now .. Sue you poor thing , i hope the weather is kind to you , i think it has been a little to hot today especially for a sports day and well done on such a large amount for the RFL (and Ailsa ) . Thanks to you Patricia for the chat , bubbly , i'd call it hyper , i'm buzzing again at the moment and like i told you i'm determined to keep certain memories out my head , so the fund raising is one of the things that is helping .. Cant wait to see you all again and Gayle dublin gets my vote xxxx

How about Cambridge?  As Teri knows, it is really a beautiful town.  One day the penguins will cross the sea. 

I am a little better, like you Patricia it was a terrible weekend,  but it is over and just gettin gthrough the next week of school with nutty kids and nuttier teachers.  Can't imagine all those 3 year olds Sue.  We are getting new ones registering every day as there is so much building here and can't keep up with all the paper work involved. 

Gayle, enjoy that new car, you certainly deserve it and hoping each day now is a tiny bit easier to handle.  You are so good with those boys, try to take care of yourself. 

I was so miserable on the weekend that I decided to try to open the box of ashes as I have heard about boxes being sealed and unable to open when you want to scatter them.  That just put me over the edge but it does open and I will be fine.  Once the kiddies are gone next Tuesday, I have only 3 days to work and will have some time to rest. 

Well done those who did the RFL, my nieces ran on Friday in Montreal.  Love the pictures Sue.

take care of yourselves everyone.

Evening everyone,

Well I am doing not bad today.  Up and down a bit but definitely not the plummeting depths I hit on Monday.  This grief is undescribable isn´t it. You bob along and then it hits you and floors you from nowhere.  I was just thinking the other night how much the past year has been a huge journey and the hardest thing we could ever do with so many steep learning curves.  Hopefully the one thing to come out of it is that I will be a better stronger person. 

I got my new car today and love it!  I am a bit of a boy when it comes to cars and this one is fast!  The boys are really into cars so it was great as they were so excited about seeing it after school and they both love it.  Jamie is a total car geek and when he got in it he noticed all the things that make it different yet when I showed it to my mum she was like oh I like the colour of the gear stick lol. 

I have just burnt my finger on the cooker - see I told you I should stick to ready meals!  I am off to run it under the tap again as it feels like one of those big throbbing cartoon fingers.

Catch you all later and hope the sports day went okay Sue.  That was great how much money you and Ailsa have both raised.  Bren, sorry you had a hard time with the ashes.  I bought a small glass urn and keep some of them in the living room in it.  Its these things that just push us over the edge isn´t it.  Hope your eye is a bit better now Lynne and thanks for the texts.  I am calming down now and will pm you.

Gayle xxx

Hi all . Wow Gayle i cant wait to see your car but i'm afraid i'll be more like you mum , ooohhh look at the colour lol .. Hope your fingers are a but better now. My eye is really streaming and i'm having abit of trouble focusing so this will be shortish . I got some drops form the chemist but i cant see it getting any better at mo , i'll keep useing them .. Sue i hope your sports day went ok hun and you didn't get sunburnt .. Hope everybosy is ok

 Take care xx

Lynne xxxxx

what's wrong with your eye Lynne?

Gayle I wish you well to drive your new car and I hope your finger heals soon too.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Good evening to all the dear ladies on here.

Thanks so much Gayle, Lesley & Sue for your warm welcomes.

As I'm sure you'll all agree, It's a place we'd rather not be welcomed to at all - but  I'm glad I stumbled upon you all.

Take care everyone & best wishes always,

Sarah