My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Oh Sue you are so funny, glad you had a good day. It made me laugh reading your post as Friday afternoons are my PPA time, I prepared all my work for the coming week, looked at the clock, a little early to finish for the day but like you said, hey, what are you going to do... sack me! What a rebeI am becoming, leaving work 20 minutes early!!

It is going to be hard to stay focused on my work for the coming few weeks, knowing I won't be back in September, it hardly motivates you to do your best. I suppose what really annoys me is there are some extremely lazy people who work there, they have one pace....slow. They come late, leave early, lol, but never seem to get found out, maybe I should have taken a leaf out of their book!

Never mind as we all know there are far worse things that can happen than this.

Hi everyone.  The race went well and I did it in just under 50 mins.  I even managed to bump into some people I know who had come along to support 'anyone they knew'.  My faith in human nature has returned.

Sue it sounds like you have had a really nice weekend - just right under the circumstances.  I am glad you were able to do things you enjoyed and spend time with your family.

Gayle your possible stalker sounds a bit alarming.  I am not really sure how these things work so I hope you get to the bottom of it  and everything sorts itself out.

Lesley, Sue, I was talking to a colleague of mine while I was at the races yesterday.  He has been made redundant but not given a leaving date yet.  He talked of the same lack of motivation that you both mention.  I am not the slightest bit surprised you both feel that way.

Judi you are sounding way too much like me this weekend.  Even talking of going to B & Q for storage boxes.  I have had to go to 2 different stores near me as I used up all the boxes of the right size from one of them!  Good luck with it all.

Hope everyone else is okay after this lovely weekend.  Have a good week.  Ailsa xxx

Evening All, Sorry i have not been posting but i have had a really miserable week with this cold and a very sore throat not away yet but i feel a lot better today. Charlie has also had to go to out of hours today he has such a wheeze but they say it is not on his chest but to get him checked again on Wed. I have also felt so lonely this week and then i get so mad with myself as i have a great family and great friends who do look after me so i should be thankful.  It has been a beautiful day here very hot, went to cemetary with flowers and spent the afternoon at Kim's, then to dad's for dinner he is also a worry just now as really struggling to do things  now and of course the hot weather makes him more short of breath, he is also so stubborn and just wants me and my sister to look after him. (sorry for moaning). Ailsa well done in doing you race today, have not managed to catch up on all the posts but i will do. Hugs to you all. Fiona xxxxxxxxxx 

Sue and Lesley, so sorry yuo are having such a miserable time at the moment. Life just seems so unfair at times. Let's hope there is somethiong better waiting for you. It used to be that workinbg in education or nursing menat you always had a secure job mmmm..... that is no longer the case. We are losing staff from the grade above me and are all wondering when they will start on our grade. 

Ailsa, well done on your run. I hope you enjoyed it.

Judi I hope you manage to get all your 'sorting' done. Don't think I shall bother to move home (I am too lazy to sort stuff out so therefore cannot leave).

Fiona, sorry to hear you have been ill. Not much fun is it? I hope both  you and Charlie are now on the mend.

Gayle, an internet stalker sounds terrible and oh so creepy. Here's hoping you get to the bottom of it soon.

Everyone I have not mentioned, I hope you had a reasonable week-end.

Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

Morning all

Ailsa, well done on the run, don't know how you did it with it being so warm!

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, I don't feel at all miserable, maybe I should but I don't. I think it is just another thing that has happened in my life, there will be many more events, some good and others not so but that is just the way it is.

Sorry you are feeling so very down Fiona, wish I had the right words to cheer you up, maybe once you feel a bit better in yourself, you will start to improve. I have had a really good week, I suppose there is a bit of me always thinking, when will I crash back to earth but I have to remind myself before any of this happened, life was not all fun, fun, fun and there were days when I felt down for no apparent reason, soetimes I find it is all to easy to blame my mood on what has happened. Anyway hope you all have a reasonably good day.

Love Lesley xx

Morning all , well went to bed shattered and i've got up shattered , cant believe i didn 't sleep , oh well only 16 hours or so and i'll try again lol . 50 mins !!!!!

 Ailsa well done , i'll still be working out which way i'm going at 50 mins and so glad you met some friends ...

Fiona , poor poor you and really hope your feeling a little better now , i know what you mean about your dad , mine refuses ant kind of help , he always has , "he's got 3 lasses " , i think its a throw back from his parents , they dont realise in this world we are all working and if only he'd have a little help we wpuld have more quality time for him ..Take care Fiona ..

Sue , i hope your week goes well , as i said in my PM to you , i so admire you for the way you have dealt with the last week or so  , your amazing , they dont know what there losing at your school , well there loss is someone elses gain ...

 Judi good luck with the packing , i will say after my big clear out a few weeks ago i did feel better , its like i have room for another life now . make sense ? Probably not but i know what i mean lol ..

Gayle , you know what i think about your stalker so i''ll not go into to much detail here and do as i say this week DONT WORK TO HARD !!!!! ((((hug))))) .. Helen , glad you've had a good weekend , its always good to get in the garden and out for drinkies too .. perfect ha ha ..

Patricia our very pwn gardian angel once again looking after us all thank you , huhs back to you too (((( hug )))))

 Rosemary , get the ledge ready for tonight please , i can feel a baileys comeing on , i think it will be a lovely evening and what a way to spend a hour or so , on your ledge with a baileys and lovely friends mmmm

Amanda i hope h  is on now and really sorry you couldn't make York , we missed you hun ..

 Lesley i hope your positive time stays , well done .

 Bren , i can't remember where you are at the moment , where ever it is i hope this finds you well ..

Well i'm off to work now , i'm with my bestest friend so looking forward to the week . Hugs if i've missed anyone .. Take care all x

Lynne xxx

Hugs to you too Lynne! You should have a good week if you are with your best friend, lots of laughs, just the tonic  :-)))) xx

Thanks Lesley , we worked together  2 days last week and we never stopped laughing so i i am looking forward to the week , Not had a good start tho , can't find my ID , jumper (probaly not need it today any way ) and my belt . probably will need that lol , cant be far away ............... speak later Lynne xxxx

Hi everyone.  Lynne I hope you found the things you needed and had a good day with your bestest friend & work.  Hope you sleep better tonight as well.

Fiona I hope you start to feel a lot better very soon.  It is rotten feeling ill especially in nice weather.  I don't know what to say about your poor dad but try to take care of yourself as well.  I have lovely family and some good friends as well Fiona but I am at odds with myself most of the time and fell very guilty and ungrateful about it.  It often seems to me recently that I really can't remember what I should be grateful for and what I should really be upset by.  I think it is a bit like you said Lesley - I had bad days before I lost Chris and I forget that sometimes.  But I still can't figure out my mood for now.

Rosemary I have just discovered an email I was going to send to you in my drafts - fat lot of use there!!! lol.  I am at my mum & dads right now watering the garden again so I will have a look when I get home and see if I can actually send it to you.  Sorry x

Judi hope the clearing out is still going okay.  I am still trying to do the garage but with mum & dad away and coming over here to water the garden I am not getting the time I need to get on with it.  The plumber is coming on Wednesday afternoon to change a radiator so that the builder has the space to put up the wall so maybe I will feel more progress is being made after then.

Hello Patricia, nice to here from you.  I am up there with you and the 'not moving' thing.  I struggle to keep up to jobs so moving might just tip me over the edge.  Hope you are okay.

Well I can't remember what else I was going to say so I should go and check the garden - see how it is doing.  I have to be at a village meeting at 7 - need a break!!  Lynne - I think Bren is away right now which might be why she hasn't posted.  I haven't looked back but I can remember that she was talking about getting the animals sorted for while she was away.  With my memory I could have got that wrong though.  Have a good evening everyone.  Take care.  Ailsa xxx

Just a quickie as sooooo tired - Sam's first day in London today (I didn't sleep very well last night and then today has been a bit on edge), she got back home about 7.30 then we went to see her house that completed today and then came home for dinner.  Lynne the ledge is open and there is a very special place for you (have read Facebook before coming on here), Baileys open but I only have caramel flavour and not too sure about it we'd better get it finished together so I can buy some more ordinary stuff.  It is lovely and cool on the ledge tonight and quite peaceful so will see you all there, a big hug awaits all who need it and a jolly good huddle xxxxxxxxxxx