My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi everyone, just a quick 'pop' in before I 'pop' to bed.  Last night was lovely ..... but nothing like Mrs North's evening I don't think!  Just a few glasses of wine, a lovely supper cooked by my friend's hubby and then home. 

Have finalised accommodation for Boy and I on my 'old Greek Island' today - one of those do you book flights or accommodation or transfers first!  After a few phone calls to Greece and trying to remember some very basic Greek I think I have got us a small house with a courtyard .......... of course for all I know my Greek could be a bit rusty and I have booked us into some kennels!

Ailsa, yes it is 12 September in Glasgow and I believe it is at 2pm..  As far as I know it is you, me, Fiona & Teri ..... shout out anyone else that wants to go.  I will check tomorrow re tickets and we can give another shout tomorrow then go ahead and book - does that sound ok to everyone?

Gayle my little chicken - completely understand about the standing up and walking ..... and just keeping walking cos I still have days that I think I would like to walk away from all around me that is just as it was, but now so wrong.  And I don't have any of the additional pressures that you do.  So give yourself a huge hug, a pat on the back, a medal and a gold star.  As Lynne says there were four Muskateers and one day, the right day, that is exactly what the Three Amigoes will become.  (((((  )))).  Tenerife will be good for you, a little warmth and light and 'chillin'.  And yes you will still be the mum in charge - but you will be a bronzed, glamorous one!!

Am off for a final stroll round the block, will catch up with everyone tomorrow.  Judes xxxx

Hi Judi.  That sounds just right to me - Your JE details match mine now so that is always a good thing.  I'm glad you got Greece sorted out - that will really be something to look forward to.  I'm standing here wandering what I need to do to lift my spirits and maybe what I need is something to look forward to as well.  Reading your post makes me think that could be a solution.  I so can't be bothered to get ready for work this morning.  The person I am closest to at the site I am at today, has been made redundant so won't be there.  I get on fine with the others but I am not close to any others there.  I need to pick myself up and work out how to get round this.  Anyway - perhaps planning the trip to Glasgow in September will help.  I need some fun.  Becky & Declan are arriving on Thursday for the easter weekend so I can get ready for that as well.

Best knuckle under and get ready.  Have a good day everyone and I will wait for your 'shout' Judi.  Ailsa xxx

Morning everyone

Who stole the sun? Piddling down here and talk of snow on the weather forecast!!

Judi Greece sounds lovely, very jealous even if you have booked kennels lol!! Like Ailsa maybe its something I need to do, get something booked for some excitement!

Ailsa hope your day goes ok, it will be nice to have Becky and Declan for the weekend.

I m going to spring clean a 2nd room this morning then go to the gym. Meeting a friend for a few drinkies later this afternoon, she always used to do `Monday club` with Paul even when he wasnt so good so we re trying to keep the tradition going!! Thats my excuse anyway lol, have a drink for Paul xxx

Hope everyone is ok this morning

Helen xxx

Hello everyone, sorry I have not been on lately. It has been a very busy and hectic week. I went to my son's home last Wednesday and my feet never touched the ground since.

Wednesday = took three hours to do a two hour journey. Ergo  was late to meet his prospective inlaws. Such bad form. We had dinner in a posh restauant and then went to see Stuart play saxaphone inthe Big Band he plays with every week.

Thursday = Shopping for last minute things and things I forgot to bring with me. Then started to assemble the cake.  Had to break off as they wanted to go for food. Had a lovely mild curry.. mmmm.... Back to the house and straight back to cake decorations. Completed the task at 01.30. started put sticky tabson the pieces needed for the place setting for the wedding breakfast. Went to bed at 2.30. Still awake an hour later grrrr.....

Friday, more sticky tabs and then getting the bits ready so that Kayo could assemble them. Over to the venue to help set up. Back to the house for the cake. Terrified it would get broken or damaged.  Finally cake in place on designated table. Phew!!!!!     Off to supermarket for stuff that everyone decides they NEED lol.  Out again for food  had chilli this time. Off to the pub for more drinks. OMG can they never have enough?????   Back to house. Now after midnight so I took opportunity to pass the fob watch onto Stuart on behalf of his dad. It was now technically his wedding day so I could fulfill the promise I made to do it on the wedding day.  Soooo emotional. Just me and Stuart in the lounge room away from everyone else. Both sobbing and in absolute pieces.  Time alone for Stuart so he could recover himself. Talking till 4 in the morning. omg we'll never get up for the wedding.

Saturday = so many people in the house having to cross my legs coz i need the bathroom. Everyonbe gaving bacon butties except me coz i have to go to the hairdressers.    Arrived looking like an old hag. Hair shampood, conditioned, head massaged ooohhhh how relaxing is that.  Down to the styling chair. omg how on earth can she make me look presentable?  Transformation begins. WOW!!! Impressed. Where did she put my head?? and who is this looking back at me???  Back to supermarket coz i decided we wouod have Champagne pre-wedding. Home for brakfast yum yum.

Got dressed had pictures in garden, drank a little champagne then made it into bucks fizz. had a few sips and then forgot about it.

Onto the venue. The place looks amazing.  Bride looks fab. Groom looks fab. EVERYONE looks fab.

Beautiful service. Photo session went a bit wrong but hey ho.

Wedding breakfast was lovely everyone having a good time. loads of kids there and every one of them were little angels.

Time for the speeches. I was first up. Sadness first .... a toast to Ray, my mum and Kayo's grandad. Then it seemed to go ok coz there were lots of laughs around the room. I had a few little wobbles but managed to keep myself together. Bride's father made a toast. Stuart did an very good off the cuff speech. I was soooo proud. omg, he told everyone I had made the cake. Their faces were a picture lol.  Then the best men (2 off them) did a double act speech with lots of props. It was hilarious. Stuart now has the obligatory ball and chain. lol.

Onto the evening do. table moved and the first dance. Awwww how sweet. I danced all night alone and with various others. did some sort of salsa with stuart's friend. wow what a mover he is. Kayo's dad did not dance all night then decided to get me up to dance. Strange dance and the music went on forever but how sweet of him. I even got a hug.

Soo many compliments on my look, my cake and my speech. How will I get my head through the door to go home???

I became designated driver to take various people to hotels. Cleared the room. Took stuff home. Onto pub for MORE drinks. Goodness me there can't be any left in the place. Back to the house. Exhausted. SLEPT!!!!!!

Car loaded. HOME!!!

Love and angel hugs from the new mother-in-law x x x

Second installment of my weekend.

Arrived home, unloaded car, fed MIL. Now we had to go to a memorial service.

Onto the hospice. Met with Jennifer. Candle given to us with Ray's name on it.

Service begins, tears start to fall. Soooo emotional.

As they called out the namews of those being remembered, fanily memebers went up to the front with the candle for it to be lit and put on the candle holder tree. Plant given to each family as a rememberance that they live on in our hearts.  Ray's name get's called and Jennifer and I went up. I was in pieces at that point crying openly and unashamedly. Back to the seat and plant given to Ray's mum. She was sooo touched.Candles extinguished and presented to families. Jennifer has Ray's.  Book of rememberance open and when we looked, Ray was first on the page and the only one for 1st march. More heart rending tears falling. The lay preacher came to chat with us and I think I am going to get Jennifer and MIL to go for councelling sessions. Went into the chapel to look in the rememberance book for mum's name too. More tears. Wrote in a book which available for us to write a message to our loved one or a request for a prayer. Wrote  onefor mum and also for ray.

We went on to the Otley Chevin to a place known locally as 'Surprise View' as it is such a surprise when you get up to it how love;ly the view is. Flowers from the wedding placed their for Ray and my  mum. (Was mum's anniversary on 28th so a very emotional day altogether). Jennifer went off home and MIL and I went out for dinner (her treat). Called to see bro=in=law on way home then took MIL home.  Back to mine. Looke4d at the bomsite I had created and went to bed.

Today I have loads to do before my trip commences tomorrow. Staying at Jennifer's tonight as we are getting picked up at 5am to be taken to the airport.

Thank you all so much for your kind messages of support. Sorry I have not replied. Phone was on silent most of the time so just got a BUZZ when anyone messaged me.

Might not get on whilst I am away but will try.

Love and angel hugs to you all. x x x Patricia x x x (one terrified penguin == How am I going to cope in the land of the rising sun?????)

At work so must be very quick!!

WONDERFUL telling of the wedding Patricia - well done you, it all sounded amazing. 

I think Penguins love the Rising Sun - some warmth and light.  And there is no doubt that the people of the land that the Sun is known to Rise in will love the particular penguin that is visiting xxxxxx

J

Am at work too, so just a quick message to send big (((hugs))) to you Patricia, and to say that I completely agree with Judi!!! Have a safe journey and we will look forward to hearing all about your trip on your return...

Much love, Manda xx

Patricia it all sounds amazing, glad you had such a lovely time. Cant wait to see the pics of the new you!!!

Have a lovely holiday too, enjoy every last minute

Helen xxx

Hi All..  I am just off to work soon, just a short post to say Patricia have a great time when you are away, your post was lovely to read and glad it all went ok. (Sending hugs to you)  Judi that date for John Edwards suits me so count me in and let me know if you are able to get tickets. Gayle i also send you hugs you are doing a brill job with your boys i know it can't be easy for you and i realised that when you so kindly gave me a lift to our meet, and i say i thought i had it hard , things will improve for you as you are a lovely person and have two lovely boys. Helen don't get bored i have plenty spring cleaning you could do. Hugs to everyone else i have to go to work now speak later. Fiona xxxxxxxxx

Hi Patricia

Am also at work, not all finished yet like Helen! Sounds like the wedding was lovely, I am sure that Stuart was very proud of you, can't wait to see some pics. Have a lovely time in Japan, sure you will have loads to tell us when you return.

Love Lesley xx