My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Dear Lynne, Glad that you have got the headstone sorted, love and big ((((((HUGS))))).
My love and (((HUGS)))) for you all.
Quill xxxxx

Glad to see you are ok Dave and being too busy to come on here is a good thing isn't it and going to the footie with a mate is excellent.  I must dig out that photo of me, Laurie Mc and the FA cup and see if I can scan it for Facebook - oh but I was a young thing then! 

Well done Lynne for getting everything sorted at the cemetary, and what a lovely boss you have.  It would be nice to see a photo if you can get some on here, can't remember how to do it now, but as I have a few on it can't be too hard or complicated or I'd never have managed it.

Hazel, big hug for you.  Comfort eating are you?  I know that one, very easy to do and not so easy to stop.... however have you ever seen Paul McKenna? (I know a lady who has) He does a I Can Make You Thin programme and has a routine where you tap a sequence, under your eye, on your collar bone and other places - nothing dodgy - and it really does work, it stops that craving that you get that makes you just want to eat.  It also helps for a lot of things, like stopping you wanting to cry sometimes.  Goggle "Paul McKenna tapping" and I think you will find all the details online, it isn't too hard and it really does work.

I'm off to bed now so love and hugs to you all. Take care, thinking of you all and will remember you in prayers and send the angels to look after you tonight xxxxx

Rosemary, I am off to googling tapping immediately ... as soon as I have finished the box on Lindor I bought ...... for a friend - oops.  Seriously, Hazel I know exactly what you mean.  I lost about a stone the first few months but have put that and so much more back on.  I find myself eating out of boredom, or habit.  It is a bit of a problem that I am hoping that my new job will help with. 

Dave, I am delighted that you managed to get some 'you time'.  And don't worry about not coming on here ...... we have our ways - as you have found out! lol.  Just think of us as loads and loads of annoying, but caring sisters. 

Lynne, so glad that the headstone is as you have wished. ((((((((   )))))))).  What if you did a mass PM on Facebook, like Gayle did about the Newcastle trip - although I wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to put a photo in.  Well done Ailsa for texting at the right moment.  Gayle and Lynne - I will be having severe words with you re texting and driving .... and you really don't want a cross Judes!!  But I have to say I was laughing out loud at the idea of Lynne texting you to tell you not to read texts while driving Gayle.

I am still slightly confused - I certainy thought that Lucky was actually stuck on the paper, with the words written around him - made sense to me - have I got it wrong??

Dot, Patricia, Quill, Manda, Fiona, Helen, Lesley, (are you on holiday again soon - you only just went back to work!) Sue - and everyone else that knows me!! loads of love.  Judi xxx 

Just to clarify - yes, poor old Lucky WAS stuck to the piece of paper, with words written all around him.

oh, the joy of working with young children.

lynne - so glad the headstone is what you wanted. Your boss is a gem.

Love to all

sue xx

Hi everyone.  Hope you are all okay this evening.  We have snow again.  It has laid but I have been told it is not staying so here's hoping that is true.  Very pretty but very hard work.

That was so sad about the little girl Fiona.  I really hope her parents are okay.  Has Kim had a nice birthday?

I finally got a chance to use the link to the photo of Daniel and his workmates this evening Rosemary - I would fell very safe with them nearby!

Good luck with the bereavement counselling tomorrow Lesley.  I agree with the others that you should give it a go and see if it is for you.  I tried to get counselling months ago but no-one has ever got back to me.  I think in the end just chatting on here with all of you has been all the help I need but as I haven't had counselling I can't be sure it wouldn't have helped.  I hope you find it useful - let us know.  I know it might not seem so to you but 3 weeks for your plaster on your wrist will soon go by then you will have to get used to not having just when you've got having it sussed!  I smiled at both yours and Bren comments about your dodgy memorys.  Mine has been dire since Chris died but I think Judi is right about it being some sort of healing mechanism that our bodies very cleverly put in place.  We have all been in a very focused overdrive and our mind needs time to recovery.  Just unfortunate that a 'resting' mind leaves us so high and dry on the memory front.  I seriously thought there might be something wrong with me at one point.  I don't think it is so bad now but that could also be that I have learned to write everything down and also keep a diary up to date so I don't miss appointments etc.  I have notepads in 4 rooms around the house!

Dave it is nice to read that you had a good weekend enjoying the footie etc.

Helen hope you enjoy the visit from your friend.  I had 2 friend round last night and we watched the curious tale of benjamin button on DVD.  It was a good film and a nice evening.

Lynne I'm glad the headstone was just as you expected it to be.  Sorry about my timing with the text but if it stopped you crying maybe it was okay.  You can put a photo on facebook and only share it with certain people.  It's up to you but that is one way to make sure you don't upset Gordon's children.  I did it with some of the pictures from Chris's grave.

Hazel I think Rosemary's suggestion about Paul KcKenna to help cure the night time eating is well worth a try.  Not sure what else to suggest.  If I am in a nibbling mood I tend to skip a meal to allow me to snack.  Not sure I should be recommending that though!!!

Patricia I think I will stick to the signature I developed for Christmas cards when it comes to writing in my MIL's mothers day card - I printed labels and put a little '&' signed next to my name then stick a little heart where Chris's name should be next to mine.  Most people figured it out and appreciated what I had done.  I have been sending the kids birthday cards from Chris & I as normal.

Gayle are you feeling any better on the antibiotics yet?  At least they are working.

Just before I go I want to say hi to Sue, Dot, Quill & Manda - hope you are all okay this evening.  Take care everyone xxxx 

Evening All, Well thats my first baby sitting duty at night Kim and Grierson went out for a meal, Charlie was sleeping when they brought him in and she put him in the moses basket and he never woke, so that was easy enough for me. I am having him all day on Mon as Kim going in to school but some how don't think he will sleep all day, but looking forward to having him to myself. On Tues me and my sister flying down to London just for the day to visit my mum's sister who is in a home she has demencia (don't know if my spelling right) so she might not even know us, but  it was one thing my mum asked before she died that we would keep in touch with her. Hope you are all doing ok tonight?  Well i better get off to bed  now, day off tomorrow so going shopping with Kim she is wanting a touch ipod for her birthday so we will hopefully get one. Luv and Hugs Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx

I have been reading all the posts but can't remember all now.  You guys have been busy.  Fiona so sorry to hear about that poor baby, life is so sad sometimes.  Leslie, do give the counselling a try.  I did go a few times before Christmas and she was ok, not wonderful but ok.  I would have continued but my insurance does not cover it and it was expensive.  There is a group that is going to start in the spring and I do want to join them.  This forum is also so comforting for me even if I don't post as often as you all do. 

Lynne glad everything is ok for you now.  I can just imagine how long that night must have been waiting to go and see it.

Hazel, welcome and I understand what you mean, sitting here all alone it is very easy to go for comfort foods, especially chocolates.  I don't have any answers for that, I have not been taking care of myself since Dan got ill.  I applaud those of you who are using the wii fit.  Mine has not been out for a very long time, I must drag it out and start again.  I find walking helps when I am sad too, I just take the dog and go for a long walk and just let my thoughts go where they want to.

Otherwise, just had my plumber in to clear out a clogged drain, lucky for me he is also a neighbour.  It never ends with an old house. 

Sue you have the fun parts of working in a school, I had a poor little girl vomiting in my office three times today, all over the floor, herself, poor little thing.  Those are my joys of working in a school.

hope you all have a good night

Morning all just a quick one before i go to work , yes it was a long night Bren , i was glad when the morning came xx Gayle i'm glad the weekend made a difference to you and i hope your positivity keeps up hun , i think it might have more to do woth Paum MC then me tho lol and thanks for sharing that story lol but glad it made people laugh lol . Judi i would never text and drive ,(unless Gayle texts) i wouldn't cross my Judi lol  Ailsa your timing was perfect thank you xx Sue i'm glad you cleared that up , i thought the fish was on the paper lol you did very well there and yes my boss is great i dont know what i'd do without her , when i had to make another dentist appointment for today i phoned her and said i was sorry i was having to leave work early again , she said dont worry you'll run out of teeth eventually lol Well its tooth extraction time today , i'm not looking forward to it but at least i know the abcess wont come back again . Right i'd better get ready , sorry i've not mentioned everybody , i'll be back later and i'll try and do something with the photos .. Have a good day everybody   Take care Lynne xxxxx

Morning all,

Hope the tooth extraction goes okay Lynne - don't envy you but you are brave you will be fine and like you say at least no abscess again.

I am feeling rubbish on these antibiotics - I did warn you all that I would be on here moaning by the end of the week!  Had an early night last night as felt very strange - all lightheaded and hot but still tossed and turned.  I'm working from home today so hopefully get a cat nap on the couch later and see if that helps.

I can't believe the fish was stuck on the paper!!!  I would have ran screaming lol.  One of the kids fishes died a couple of months ago and I had to phone my dad to come and get it out the tank as I couldn't even look at it.  I didn't even have a net so he used my fish slice to scoop it out and put it in the burn (why the burn I don't know - it was definitely dead!).

Anyway, hope you are all okay and sending massive hugs and welcome Helen - keep posting as this is our life line and I hope you find the support here that you need.

Gayle xxx

Just off to work but wanted to pop in and say hi.  Gayle hun, is that the normal reaction you have to antibiotics?  It sounds horrible.  Just you look after yourself - I need you fit and healthy to meet me for coffee in a couple of weeks!

Lynne - snuggles to you, I know getting your tooth sorted is grotty but you will feel so much better knowing that it won't bother you again.

Gayle, I was laughing at you and the fish, how appropriate that your dad used the fish slice!! And putting it in the Burn is obviously like us flushing one down the loo when Boy was little!

Fiona - if you're like me I would have been waiting for Charlie to sit a little so that you had an excuse to lift him for a cuddle!  Hope you manage to get the Ipod for Kim and that your visit to London goes ok. 

Love to everyone - Judi xxx